2.245: Quick Blurbs 001

I am going to try something different today.  If the title of this post did not already give it away, I am calling this new writing format, Quick Blurbs.  Basically, I pick between three or five (I will pick a more precise number at a later time) current topics and I have fifty words or less to express my opinion on the topic.  Now, I am seeking a source for determining what "hot" current topics to discuss, but I will figure that out as well at a later time.  For this initial Quick Blurbs, I will be drawing the topics from Facebook's Top Trends:

Screen Captured on 02/26/2016

Topic #1:  Cheryl Tiegs Hates Full-Sized Women

Honestly, who cares what Cheryl Tiegs thinks?  She had her time and if her time did not permit her to have a waistline over 35-inches, then too bad.  But for anyone to come out and attempt to criticize another person because they are comfortable in their own skin is lame.

Topic #2:  More Stupid $#!+ Comes from Raven-Symone's Mouth

If Raven-Simone wants to move to Canada because a Republican is nominated for President, then let her leave.  Clearly (or at least, I hope), she meant to say that if a Republican is elected President, but she is notorious for saying really stupid stuff (like a human being).

Topic #3:  A Rated R Dawn of Justice Blu-Ray/DVD Release?

If I actually purchased blu-rays, I would still have no interest in purchasing Dawn of Justice.  I rarely re-watch films much less purchase them so this announcement means nothing to me because I believe the film is going to be bad.  I am waiting for Suicide Squad.

Topic #4:  Ariel Winter's Smaller Breasts

Good for Ariel, but who is this person?  Again, if you feel comfortable with your body, then more power to you.

Topic #5:  #FreeKesha

I could go on a much longer rant about this situation, but I am not allowed.  If Sony were a person (and according to Citizens United, it is a person), then I would implore it to have a shred of decency and #FreeKesha.  Why torment her?

And there you have it, my first ever Quick Blurbs.  Personally, I enjoyed this format though I am distraught by what is considered important enough to be "trending".  I hope to do more of these in the future as well as more Random Topics, but until next:  take care and DFTBA!

2.244: Liga MX > MLS?

I voted today and I voted for...HA! GOT EEM!  But, seriously, it is not difficult to figure out which candidate received my vote.

Anyway, I have spent the past two nights watching (or trying to watch) the CONCACAF Champions League quarterfinals.  To be honest, I do not normally watch these matches because the matches typically pit Liga MX sides either against one another or against another side from Central America, but this year's quarterfinals are different; this year's quarterfinals feature FOUR Liga MX versus MLS matches.  Well, that was the angle MLS and most American soccer pundits decided to use in promoting the matches.  Unfortunately, it did not pan out as MLS had hoped as DC United fell 2:0 to Queretaro, Seattle Sounders twice floundered their advantage and had to settle for a 2:2 draw with Club America, Real Salt Lake also fell 2:0 to Tigres, and the Los Angeles Galaxy played to a scoreless draw against Santos Laguna.  Sadly, it is the scoreless draw from the Galaxy-Santos match that was the lone bright spot from an otherwise dim series of results, but even then, the Galaxy face an uphill battle to either win or draw against Santos away.

As for the remaining MLS sides, they face far more difficult tasks heading into their respective second leg matches:

DC United:  Yes, they will be at home for the second match of a two-match series, but they will not only need to score at least two goals (to even the aggregate score and force extra time and then penalty kicks) and not concede an away goal and given their performance during their first leg away in Mexico; it does not look promising.

Seattle Sounders:  Despite the draw, the Sounders face an even more difficult situation than DCU or RSL as they will need to head into Estadio Azteca and win.  Conceding two away goals to one of Liga MX's perennial powerhouse clubs has pretty much sealed the Sounders' fate.

Real Salt Lake:  See DC United

Now, there will be a number of articles published and discussions held over the next few days about why MLS continues to struggle in the region's premiere club tournament, but most of these articles and conversations will simply be regurgitating the same basic points:

1) Fitness Levels.  During the quarterfinal knockout stages of the CCL, Liga MX sides are well into their professional seasons while MLS teams are in their preseason.  For MLS supporters, the preferred method of remedying this issue would be to shift the tournament's schedule to begin and end within the same calendar year as opposed to using the FIFA club calendar.  Of course, there are detractors that believe MLS should be the ones to shift its schedule to match many of Europe's top domestic leagues.

2) Available Resources.  When it comes to club budgets, there exists a massive gap between Liga MX and MLS.  In Liga MX, all clubs are owned by private individuals or ownership groups that are permitted to spend as much as they are willing to spend on the purchase of players and their wages.  Meanwhile, MLS teams are severely hampered by the league's salary cap that is the result of the league being a single-entity organization in which the league owns the clubs and players while individuals invest in teams.  I saw a great tweet that made reference to the fact that even MLS teams "with cash" are forced to sell some of their top talents to Liga MX sides because they are unable to fit the player's wages under the salary cap while Liga MX sides do not share this worry.

There are plenty of other points to be made, but it is late and I have to be up early. So, take care and DFTBA!

2.236: Random Topics 002

Sorry, but I have not been feeling too creative today.  I have had a number of things on my mind and I have been unable to focus on coming up with an original topic to discuss.  So, here we go:

Topic #1

What you ought to know about One Punch Man.  Basically, OPM is the best anime series I have in some time, but I have not been watching much anime in recent years despite volunteering at an anime convention.  OPM is a fun series that features insane, over-the-top action sequences, easy to grasp humor, and heart-warming moments.  So, if you like that sort of thing, then you should check it out.  And now that I have mentioned it, I may go back and watch it again because I originally ran through the series on my iPhone.

Topic #2

What my dog taught me about finding comfort in simple things.  I have had many dogs in my life.  And the thing I love most about dogs is the fact that they are able to find such joy in simple things like finding the perfect shaded spot, eating almost everything that is thrown your way, and never worrying about human issues like debt.  Dogs are not high maintenance and they are loyal to the point of incurring personal harm, unlike cats.  Honestly, simply writing about dogs makes me miss my last dog.  She went missing around the turn of the year and I feel that I may have had a part in her disappearance.

I am going to stop it with two topics this evening because (1) I am getting tired and (2) the third topic I generated would require more brainpower than I am willing to commit at this moment.

2.235: Random Topics 1(?)

I am struggling to identify a topic to discuss for this post so I have decided to use a random topic generator to help inspire me tonight.  Here we go:

Topic #1

Oh, the irony.  I suppose one of the things I do to "beat" writer's block is to use random topic generators like "The Blog Post Ideas Generator" found at BuildYourOwnBlog.net.  To be honest, I am not entirely sure just how "random" this particular topic of discussion is, but it is a start and I am writing.  Success?

Topic #2

Since I am an expert at spotting the latest and greatest new trends, I am going to let you in on the next big thing.  Are you ready?  Here we go:  Funemployment!  Now, I know that there are some of those that are confused, but allow me to elaborate.  Funemployment is when a competent individual that actually fulfills the duties and responsibilities of his position is unjustifiably terminated from his position because small, petty individuals are incapable of handling opinions that are different from their own opinions.  Funemployment is fantastic!  It affords the funemployed countless hours to draft posts for blogs, tolerate ungrateful and despicable trolls that try to pass themselves off a relative, and wonder when and where one's next paycheck will originate.  Of course, I should warn you, funemployment is not for everyone, but if you want to earn hipster status; it may be the trend for you.

Topic #3:

To be honest, I am not sure how I am supposed to word this phrase (or question) regardless I am going to with the following:  Why I love to blame others for my shortcomings.  It is a simple answer: it is because it is typically someone else's fault.  I accept blame for my termination at the library, but I would be lying because who expects to be terminated from a position at which he excels and he goes above and beyond the call of duty?  Not me.  I could say it is my fault that I am seen as a poor older sibling for failing to care and support a troll, but why should I be expected to have any tolerance for an individual that cares little of himself and nothing of others?  Look, I am not a blameless individual.  I am at fault for a number of things (e.g., my aunt's income tax returns) though in many cases I still attempt to lay blame at the feet of others, but I know that I was wrong and it eats at me. I lose sleep at nights because of some slight I may have made at another, but I have come to realize that there are times when it is someone else's fault and I refuse to accept blame or lose sleep for it.

-----| J+30 |-----

I will admit that this approach to writing was good and I may utilize it more in the future, but I still intend on coming up with topics on my own.

2.231: Internal Politics

The Presidential primary election in Georgia is just over a half-month away and I still have not decided which candidate will receive my support and vote.  On Facebook, the majority of my "friends" are "click-and-share conservatives" (individuals that "share" contrived anti-Obama / anti-liberal headlines without taking a moment to see if the article has any basis in fact) that support either Cruz or Trump, but amongst my fellow liberals; there exists a steep divide between those who are "with [Hillary]" and those who are "feel[ing] the Bern".  And to be frank, I have observed the interactions between the two groups of supporters and it is discouraging.  The latest example of this degenerative banter amongst the two supporters groups centered around statements from Georgia Congressman and Civil Rights icon, John Lewis.  In his statement expressing support for Secretary Hillary Clinton, Congressman Lewis called into question Senator Bernie Sanders's participation in the Civil Rights movement of the 1960s:

"I never saw him, I never met him. I was chair of the Student Nonviolent Coordinating Committee for three years--1963 to 1966. I was involved in the sit-ins, the freedom rides, the March on Washington, the march from Selma to Montgomery. I directed the board of education project for six years. I met Hillary. I met President [Bill] Clinton."

Of course, every man is entitled to his own opinion, but given the amount of vitriol directed toward Congressman Lewis from supporters of Senator Sanders; it appears one's loyalties can cloud one's judgment and cause a normally rational individual to react ignorantly.  First and foremost, I have an immense respect for Congressman Lewis because of his role in the Civil Rights movement; the man literally had his skull cracked during the Selma march.  Congressman Lewis stood side-by-side with Dr. King and other luminaries of the movement and confronted the harassment, the threats, and the violence head on.  Congressman Lewis is the sole individual still alive that spoke at the March on Washington. It is one thing to simply disagree with Congressman Lewis about the candidate he has chosen to support, but it is an entirely different matter when an individual attempts to diminish his role in the Civil Rights movement, proclaim that he is a shill for the establishment (Congressman Lewis has been fighting the "man" for longer than many of his detractors have been alive), and insult his intelligence because he supports a candidate that is not your candidate. These individuals should be ashamed of their behavior. Yes, you are entitled to your position and you are free to voice your opposition, but when you hurl juvenile insults and profanities at a great man like Congressman Lewis; you have crossed a line.  Now, before I step too much further into the mire, let me simply say that this is merely an example of the sort of nonsense I have observed from both, the Clinton and Sanders, camps and it is disheartening.

It is one thing to engage in such behavior toward members of the Tea Party contingent of the GOP, but to act in such a manner toward members of the same party is harmful.  It is my hope that at the end of the nomination process, supporters of the non-nominated candidate would support the DNC's Presidential candidate despite one's initial beliefs.

2.229: Status Update and More

As some of you may or may not know, I have been unemployed for about five months now.  Initially, I joked about my predicament going so far as to call it "fun-employment".  At the time, I found comfort in the following assumptions: (1) I would easily find a new job, especially, because there was open position at a local library that is managed by the same individual that hired me at my previous library position and (2) if I did not get the position; I would be eligible for unemployment benefits.  Of course, neither of these things worked out:  I did not even receive a call in for an interview while an acquaintance of mine (a former part-time library co-worker that I actually trained) did receive an interview request (which he turned down because he had already accepted another position at the local state prison) and I was refused unemployment assistance because it was determined that I was at fault for my termination despite the fact that I was not afforded a proper opportunity to explain my side of the story (the Department of Labor reviewer made it clear through her tone and persistent requests for terse responses that she had no interest in hearing my case and had already determined how she would side).  I will not lie about the fact that I am still bitter about both incidences, but there is no point in continuing to dwell upon my past errors in judgment.  Rather, I have decided to take an opportunity to simply say that the search for employment continues and while the pace at which I am submitting applications and resumes is well below what one would expect from an individual in dire straits; I can only hope that something turns around for me sooner rather than later.

To be honest, I am uncertain of why I am writing this post aside from perhaps providing an update on my situation.  This is not a plea for pity because I have no desire to be pitied by anyone.  Instead, I believe it is simply a matter of me wanting to write and having nothing better to write about.

-----|| J+30 ||-----

Now, in a completely unrelated note:  Have you had an opportunity to see the new Columbus Crew kits?  Well, here it is (as modeled by MF Tony Tchani, left, and FW Kei Kamara, right):

SOURCE: Twitter | @TonyTchani23

My initial reaction:  "Wow, what a bold...choice?"  First, let's take a moment to commend the designers of this kit for attempting something different, but let's also take a moment to say that this design was a nice gesture that was executed horribly.  The kit is dubbed as the "For Columbus" kit and the designers drew their inspiration from the city of Columbus's flag, but at some point during the creative process; the designers decided to have one too many adult beverages and this led to a hangover that was never fully remedied.

Also, in one more soccer kit-related note (or more accurately, inquiry):  Who decided that it was a good idea to have New York City FC's secondary kits share a color scheme that is similar to that of the New York Mets?  I only ask because I could have sworn that NYCFC played its matches at Yankee Stadium.  Again, I'm curious.

2.228: (Unaffordable) Footy Swag

I don't often venture into the realm of fashion because I'm one of the least fashionable individuals you'll ever meet despite my personal fantasies of being named "World's Sexiest Man" by whatever magazine hands out that title.  But, I'm not discussing solely fashion, I'm discussing soccer fashion. On Sunday, the MLS club I currently support Sporting Kansas City released its secondary kit, here have a look:

SOURCE: Sporting Kansas City | www.sportingkc.com

Personally, I like it.  It's a simple design featuring alternating horizontal stripes of various width and shades of blue.  For me, a good soccer shirt is a shirt that could be worn in everyday situations without looking like a wanker.  Of course, this shirt will be priced out of my price range initially because everything is out of one's price range when you're unemployed, but I'm hoping that I'll be able to add this shirt to my collection of socially-acceptable, wearable soccer tops  Also, another positive with this top is how the corporate sponsor sits inconspicuously across the chest, drawing little attention unlike some shirt sponsorships and their logo placement (i.e., I'm looking at you Chevrolet).

2.227: Keep Dabbing!

Do you remember toward the end of 2015 and the start of 2016 when I said that I would be embarking on a journey to discover my one true focus?  Well, I failed or, more accurately, I failed to document it.  Now, I'm not saying that I embarked upon some sort of spiritual journey; it was more of an epiphany.  But, I have figured it out!  From here on out, I'm going to write about whatever I feel like writing about at the moment.  Of course, I'm going to say it right here and right now that a large number of my posts will be related to sports, but there will be moments when I feel like discussing books and films, cooking and dining, or politics and current events and I will write about these topics at will.  I realize that I am an incredibly complex and complicated individual and to attempt to define myself with a handful of descriptions is impossible.  So, I'm embracing the complexities, accepting the complications, and rolling with the punches to write about what I want to write about and when I write about them.

In fact, I'm going to start right now by discussing the relentless and unwarranted persecution of Cam Newton by sports journalists and football "purist" (or more accurately, racists).  I'll start by saying that Newton is the quarterback for the NFL team I support: the Carolina Panthers.  I'll also add that starting point for this particular post stems from last night's (7 February) Super Bowl post-game press conference in which Newton abruptly left the podium after being continuously questioned about his performance in the Panthers loss to the Denver Broncos.  The first bit to aggravate me was a retweet from Andrew Zimmern of Bizarre Foods notoriety of a tweet from Rob Lowe:

Wow. What a press conference from Cam Newton. So gracious!So classy! So humble! What an example to kids! Just like Peyton. #dab #SuperBowl

— Rob Lowe (@RobLowe) February 8, 2016

So, here's the issue I have with this retweet and the series of tweets that followed on Zimmern's account:

1)  The belief that professional football players are required to provide a full account of their actions immediately following a game, especially, players on the losing team.  Journalists (or more accurately, pundits) and certain types of fans are always demanding authenticity and honesty from professional athletes and yet when professional athletes provide them with this authenticity (e.g., Cam walking out of the press conference because [and I am only speculating] he was emotionally hurt from having his worst performance of the season during the most important game of the season) they are quick to judge him as being classless or acting like a "spoiled brat" because Cam choose not to play nice with them.  Of course, the response to such a realization is that Cam is a professional player that is paid millions of dollars to play a game and he should understand his responsibilities and his position as a role model.  Sure, I could accept that argument if I accepted the belief that professional football players are merely overpaid assets within NFL's corporate structure, but I don't accept that premise because Cam and every other player in the league are human like me. Professional football players are human and they possess the same emotions that all other humans possess. So, for pundits and fans to expect otherwise from players is disingenuous, but that's not what is really desired, is it?

2) And this brings me to my second issue with Zimmern's tweets (by the way, please don't mistake this post as an attack on Zimmern as I really do like him and his show; it's just that it was his tweets I saw first): the idea that Cam shouldn't be allowed a passed because no one else "gets a pass".  To be honest, that's absolute (pardon my language) bullshit.  People, especially, celebrities get "passes" all the time. For example, a celebrity behaves irrationally (or in some instances, illegally) and yet after a few stints in rehab and a major public relations overhaul; all is forgiven and they go back (or continue) to make millions.  No one expects or should expect a person to have to be subjected to intense scrutiny immediately following one of the most difficult moments of their life; we typically "give them a pass".  And if for some reason one were to find himself in such a situation, then it would be reasonable to believe that he is well within his right to not be very cooperative with his interrogators, right?  So, why is Cam or any other professional athlete expected to behave in a manner that's any different what would be expected from ourselves?

3) And finally, Zimmern tweeted about how Cam asked for respect and that because Cam asked to be respected he is unable to "have it both ways" when he refused to subject himself to pointless scrutiny immediately following a loss in the Super Bowl. First, the issue is that Cam should have never had to ask for respect in the first place.  Let's be honest, did Peyton Manning have to ask for respect?  Did Tom Brady have to ask for respect?  And now let's be brutally honest, did any of Cam's successful white quarterback peers have to ask for respect?  I believe the answer would be:  "No."  Cam's white counterparts were immediately given widespread respect from the media following their successes whereas Cam has had to time and time again prove himself to the media despite his record-breaking on-field performances, his spectacular feats of athleticism, his unbridled joy and passion for a game that will undoubtedly shorten his lifespan and diminish his mental and physical faculties, and his caring and giving personality that his brought immeasurable to happiness to children.  One would believe that such acts and behavior would lead to immense respect from others but instead, Cam receives grief for his touchdown celebrations, criticism for fathering a child out of wedlock, and outrage for his immaturity because he has chooses to have and express emotions.

I have nothing but love and respect for Cameron Newton and it's not only because he's the quarterback of the professional football team I support, but because he's earned it.  Keep dabbing Cam and I'll #KeepPounding along with the rest of the Panther Nation.

2.222: Dying Inside

I am unable to put into words the amount of hatred I feel towards COVER LETTERS!  My god!  What is the point?!  Am I really going to miss out on a job because I am incapable of regurgitating my resume into a block-style letter format?

From the countless asinine tips from professionals to the vast multitudes of bland and generic templates for every industry known to man except for the one position I need, cover letters are redundant, ridiculous, stupid, and useless.  What does a cover letter offer that a resume does not or, better yet, a generic application of employment form?

Do hiring manager actually sit down and read any of these letters?  Honestly, the idea that an individual would rather read a cover letter over a bulleted list of professional experiences and academic achievements is baffling.  And yet, here I am--struggling to put together a series of words into a paragraph of sentences that will astonish yet not overwhelm, demonstrate confidence while exhibiting humility, and be dynamic yet not too over-the-top.

Read that last sentence again (I will wait) and reach the same realization that I reached many moons ago:  cover letters are contradictory pieces of garbage that serve the sole purpose of confusing rational individuals for the amusement of human resource managers and hiring managers.

I am honestly at the point of simply saying "FUCK IT!" and just writing whatever comes to mind (very similar to what I am doing at this moment), but I cannot.  Why?  Because I really need this job and I really want this job and because I have been conditioned to jump through hoops like a circus monkey in order to earn a treat.

If they want a cover letter, then I will give them a cover letter.  But, by god, if I am ever in a position in which I able to make hiring decision, then you can damn well believe that cover letter will NOT be necessary because despite being an asshole most of the time; I can be a nice guy too.

2.220: No Place to Hide

Tonight marks the beginning of the end of what has become a nearly two-year election cycle.  The Iowa caucuses took place tonight and as I draft this post, Ted Cruz of Canada has been declared the victor on the GOP side while the race between former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton and Senator Bernie Sanders of Vermont remains neck-to-neck on the Democratic side with Clinton maintaining an advantage of less than half of a percentage point.  I could make the focus of this post politics, but there is plenty of time for punditry down the line instead I am going to speak about something more significant; my grandfather.

Today marks my grandfather's 85th birthday (that we are aware of) and as I sat on the couch across the room from him, I wondered about (1) would I make it to 85 and (2) would I want to make it to 85?  I understand that in the grand scheme of the universe, 85 years is a speck of dust in comparison to the unfathomable expanse of time (and I am being incredibly generous).  Regardless, I figured the answer to both of my questions would be a resounding NO!  For starters, I am morbidly obese, suffer from gum disease, poor eyesight, poor hearing, and likely, suffer from undiagnosed diabetes.  Of course, the aforementioned are only things that I am physically aware of and do not even include the mental frailties that reek havoc on my psychological health (e.g., depression).  But, I have gotten side tracked and gone off on a tangent.

My grandfather, despite his current appearance, is an interesting individual.  While he may only have 1.5 legs and dialysis tube protruding from his abdomen, his mind remains sharp and he is able to recall things that most people have long forgotten.  On top of his remarkable memory, he remains sharp though his physical handicaps make it appear as though his mental faculties have diminished as demonstrated by his ability to maintain a witty rapport with his children and grandchildren.  Anyways, I am at my limit for the day (time-wise), but my grandfather is an awesome individual and may he have many more birthdays after today.

2.218: The Follow Up

The following is a continuation from my previous post.

Tuesday:  I travelled alone on Tuesday.  I had lunch at Natalie-Jane's Restaurant's "new" location in town and had the Natalie-Jane Burger (smaller than I remembered but delicious nonetheless even though the burger was cooked beyond my medium preference) coupled with a pasta salad (also delicious and a surprisingly good compliment to a burger).  During lunch, I decided on whether or not to go to the Academy Sports & Outdoors in Anderson, SC or Gainesville; I choose Gainesville.  But, why Anderson?  Anderson was an option because I was in the market for some new Carolina Panthers merchandise and I had serious doubts about whether or not a sports store located in the same county as the Atlanta Falcons training facility would carry apparel from a division rival; my doubts were correct.  While I was unable to locate any Panthers apparel, I did manage to find some new shoes: the Nike Downshifter 6 (for $39.99 + tax).  After I finished at Academy Sports, I checked out the Hobby Lobby because I had nothing better to do and it was located in the same shopping centre. When I was finished at Hobby Lobby, I stopped by Ross Dress for Less, Hibbett Sports, and Marshalls (in that order).  Surprisingly, the tripped kept me occupied for much longer than I thought it would.

Wednesday:  It was another solo day of travelling.  For Wednesday, I drove to the Tanger Outlets in Banks Crossing where I browsed the Lids, VF, and Nike stores as well as a discount book store. At Lids, I saw a couple of Atlanta Hawks knit caps that were advertised 2 for $20 though each knit cap sold individually for $29.99 so it may have been a mistake.  After I finished at the outlet mall, I stopped by the faux Krispy Kreme Doughnut store for an original glazed doughnut and a raspberry filled doughnut.  I call it a faux Krispy Kreme because the store does not make its doughnuts on-site. Doughnuts are shipped in from either another store or from a centralised facility and simply reheated on-site, which makes for an odd tasting doughnut because it sits in the cooking oil twice.

Thursday:  It was an early and long day that started with a 7 AM alarm.  At 8 AM, I arrived at my grandfather's house to accompany him and my aunt to a 9 AM medical appointment in Gainesville. While I waited for my grandfather and aunt to conclude their appointment, I visited Lakeshore Mall and Target.  The appointments were done at about 10:30 AM and we headed home though our original plans included lunch at Niko Niko Sushi in Buford, but my grandfather had vomited while waiting for the physician and he was feeling poorly at the time.  As we were heading home, my aunt decided that she would take me out for lunch if we could convince my mother to watch my grandfather while we ate; we did and we picked her up at the house.  When we returned to my grandfather's house, I napped while my aunt drained fluids from my grandfather.  By the time all of the fluids were drained, my grandfather was feeling better and was up for some lunch.  So we convinced my mother to join us and we had lunch in Niko Niko.  We eat a lot whenever we go and this day was no exception.  We had tempura calamari, shrimp and vegetable tempura, pork gyoza, tofu and vegetable soup, two Flying Dragon rolls, a Rainbow roll, and a Fiesta roll--all of which was delicious!  Following lunch, my aunt and mother wanted to do some shopping since we will be celebrating my grandfather's birthday this weekend (his birthday is on February 1) so I took them to Assi Plaza in Suwanee (according to the sisters, it was smaller and more expensive than the Pleasant Hill location) and the Great Wall Supermarket in Duluth.  It was a long day that ran from 8 AM until about 6 PM.  But, I was not done because while we were heading down to Buford for lunch, my other aunt called asking if I would accompany her to have her taxes prepared at a (shady) tax preparation office.  Instead of taking her to see the shady tax preparer, I tried my hand at preparing her taxes via TurboTax; I was successful and I saved my aunt $200.  I was so proud of my success that when I finally returned home, I prepared my mother's taxes.

Friday:  I spent much more time at home than I would have liked, but a 2:55 PM Manchester United FA Cup fixture will cause such an issue.  By the way, Manchester United won!  After the match, I had dinner at Burger King and headed to Gwinnett for another Atlanta Gladiators game; they lost.  On the way home, I stopped by Krystal in Oakwood for my second meal of the day.

Anyways, this concludes this portion of the week.

2.216: Keeping Busy

Note:  There is a difference between being "busy" and being "productive".

On Sunday, I travelled to Gwinnett County where I ate lunch at a "hole-in-the-wall" Cantonese barbeque restaurant located in the food court of the Great Wall Supermarket.  I was craving dim sum but ended up eating soy sauce chicken over rice (on the recommendation of a Yelp! review and because I was not sure about how to order dim sum).  The chicken was mediocre and I left disappointed with the joint despite its strong Yelp! reviews.  Afterwards, I made my way over to Sweet Hut Bakery & Cafe in search of a Nutella Danish that I tried during a prior visit; it was sold out.  I settled for a curry chicken bun (sweeter than I prefer for a savoury item), a Nutella chocolate bun (solid with just a tad too much chocolate filling), a hazelnut Nutella doughnut (I have a thing for Nutella and this did not satisfy my craving with its dried-out dough), and a Sweet Hut milk tea "topped" with honey boba pearls (delicious though I wish I had ordered either the strawberry or taro milk tea instead of the Sweet Hut specialty).  Following my solo escapades into Cantonese dining and Nutella-based sweets, I met up with my friend Louis at Taco Mac in Duluth to watch the conclusion of the AFC Conference Championship game and most of the NFC Conference Championship game; I had an enjoyable time though my food was not-so-delicious.  I was still filled with my soy sauce chicken from earlier so I only ate sweet potato fries (a disappointment for the second time--I forgot I had tried the fries before) and an order of the "oven-baked" mac and cheese (a terrible idea--the mac and cheese came out cold and bland).  After Taco Mac and the triumph of the Carolina Panthers, Louis and I stopped by Steak 'n' Shake for milkshakes and I had the Nutella milkshake because why would I not?

On Monday, I was called into duty by one of my aunts early in the morning.  Initially, I was to watch my grandfather and wait for the delivery of his kidney dialysis fluids while my aunt went to rotate her tires and have one of the tires patched (nail).  Instead, I went to the tire repair shop while she remained with my grandfather.  The shop was quick and I was in-and-out in under an hour, which afforded me the time to stop by Chick-fil-A for breakfast.  As I was returning to the house, I received a phone call from another aunt asking if I would accompany her to her workplace to complete her application for temporary unemployment benefits.  Afterwards, she, my little cousin, and I had dinner at a local Chinese buffet--the selection is small, but the fried chicken wings are delicious--where I was reminded of how I loathe eating out with small children.  Following lunch, I swung by the house to pick up my mother and I returned to my grandfather's house to continue waiting for the medical supply shipment while he, my mother, and my aunt travelled to Gainesville for a medical appointment.  To kill the time, I read some comics, eat the treats I purchased from Sweet Hut the day before, and rubbed one out to a video of this incredibly attractive Thai woman being pounded by some sleazy white dude; I have very little shame and I am feeling bold this evening.  Anyways, the shipment never arrived, but I did complete an application for a position in Marietta.

I could go on, but I will not because I am tired and the vision of me beating off seems like a good spot to stop.

2.215: The Body Politick

I removed myself from politics following the historic campaign season of 2008.  I say that I moved away from politics because I became wary of the competitive and cut-throat political environment, but that is not the whole truth.  The main reason I left politics is because I was an immature idiot that lost his virginity to the wife of a county committee chair who, at the time, I considered a friend.  That is right--I was a party to an extramarital affair with a woman over a decade my senior and I could no longer face the man I once considered a friend.

There are times when I reflect upon what I missed out on because I could not overcome my desperateness to lose my virginity and I wonder:  "Was it worth it?"  Sadly, I would answer that it was worth it because (1) I was no longer a virgin and (2) I wanted her.  Yet, at the same time, I regret my decision and all of the consequences that came from it.  If I had been able to resist the urge to engage her in escapades, who knows what may have happened in my life?

Anyways, I wanted to get this off my chest (somewhat).  As for politics, I suppose it is not too late to reenter the fray, but the question I must answer is whether or not I actually want to return to that world.  As of now, I do not have an answer.

2.213: #KeepPounding

I was going to write about the latest Atlanta United news:

- Atlanta United's affiliate partnership with USL side Charleston Battery

- Construction of the Mercedez Benz Stadium delayed three months

- Atlanta United signs its first player in club history

I was going to write about all of these topics, but I did not want to have to put my own foot in my mouth if I made an incorrect (or ill-informed) statement.

Instead, I will talk about another sports-related topic:  Super Bowl 50.  Primarily, I want to discuss the Carolina Panthers and their remarkable run to the Super Bowl.  As a long time Panthers supporter (who did stray off the path along the way, but eventually found his way back home), I cannot express just how proud I am of this team.  From the 15-1 regular season record to its remarkable performances during the NFC Playoffs (minus the second half of the Seattle Seahawks game), the Panthers have proven themselves worth of their own success despite the naysayers and the haters.  When the Panthers were still undefeated, the pundits called the Panthers "the worst 14-0 team in NFL history" while singing the praises of the Seahawks, the Arizona Cardinals, and the New England Patriots.  In fact, it was not until the Patriots lost its second-straight game that the Panthers claimed the top spot in the ESPN NFL Power Rankings and then after the Panthers fell to the Atlanta Falcons; the Panthers fell behind the Cardinals despite having lost only one game.

And now, even after securing their position in the Super Bowl in dominating fashion, a 49-15 win over the Cardinals, the headlines coming out of Conference Championship weekend are about Peyton Manning and whether or not the Super Bowl will be his last professional game and whether or not he can go out a champion.  But, that is okay because the Panthers and members of the Panthers Nation know what we have and we know that we have the ability and the talent to cap off an incredible season with a Super Bowl win.  Actually, before I progress, I do want to step back from the notion that the media is ignoring the Panthers completely.  I am wrong in making such an assertion because there is one Panthers-related topic that the media relishes in discussing:  Cam Newton.

Source: nojillnolife.tumblr.com

From Newton's on-field celebratory dances to the off-field birth of his first child with his longtime girlfriend, the media loves to criticize Newton in a manner that one would never see towards Manning or Tom Brady.  Now, I am not going to defend Newton because it is unnecessary; Newton has defended himself time and time again in a more impactful and tactful manner than I can even imagine.  What I will say is this:  if an individual can easily seat at his keyboard and attempt to tear down a man with such an incredible zeal for the game and love for his community such as Newton, then there is no convincing that person otherwise because his heart is filled with such vitriol that it is beyond redemption.

Source:  USA Today Sports Images (?)

In conclusion, I am looking forward to the Super Bowl this year and I look forward to seeing Cam and the Panthers lift the Vince Lombardi Trophy *knocks on wood*.  Until next time, DFTBA!

2.202: Stacks of Cash

I have no clue what I am going to write about this evening because my initial topic, the demise of the Atlanta Silverbacks, is old news.  I considered a personal piece discussing my opinions and thoughts on the Atlanta Silverbacks organization, but I realized that I no connection to the club.  Yes, I had been to a handful of matches during their most recent stint, but I had not been to a match since Soccer Bowl 2013 (now called “The Championship”).  So, I decided against writing about another topic of which I held little familiarity.  Instead, I will say this in regards to the situation:

It is always terrible to lose a professional sports organization because it creates a feeling amongst supporters that we did not do enough to save our club.  But, the reality of the matter is that professional sports organizations are businesses and businesses with poor management (or no management in the case of the Silverbacks) will fail.  As followers of professional sports, the best course of action is to lament briefly and move on to another club.

On another note, Major League Soccer (MLS) held its Super Draft today and Sporting Kansas City (SKC) selected with the eleventh overall pick of the Super Draft:

😎 #SuperDraft pic.twitter.com/EaV00MYpUZ

— Sporting Kansas City (@SportingKC) January 14, 2016

Actually, SKC traded the pick to DC United in exchange for an undisclosed amount of Targeted Allocation Money (TAM—a financial mechanism devised by MLS to lessen the actual impact of a high-waged, non-Designated Player’s salary on the club’s salary cap figure).  Of course, saying your club has selected a table full of stacked cash is much more entertaining.

Anyways, I have been having a good day despite my Friday evening plans being canceled (Get well soon BH’s granny!). So, good evening and DFTBA!

2.201: Panic!

Today, I will be discussing sports.  Specifically, I will be discussing soccer (or football).  Let's begin:

Yesterday, Manchester United, Newcastle United, and West Ham United had Premier League fixtures.  The first two United clubs, Manchester and Newcastle, faced each other at St. James' Park while West Ham traveled to Bournemouth. I mention this because of a humorous tweet I read that said:

What we're going to learn from the upcoming scoreless draw between @NUFC & @ManUtd is that West Ham is the best United in the @premierleague

— Jimmy Conrad (@JimmyConrad) January 12, 2016

Well, the Manchester United match against Newcastle United did not end in a scoreless draw rather it was 3:3 draw, but West Ham did defeat their opponents, Bournemouth, 1:3. So, Jimmy Conrad was (sort of) correct, at least, on this day. But, the Manchester United draw at St. James' Park is part of what I wanted to discuss because while a six-goal draw away from home is nothing to feel entirely bad about; it is the manner in which the draw occurred that is disappointing.

For starters, Manchester was ahead of Newcastle on two different occasions.  First, Manchester went ahead by two goals (Wayne Rooney and Jesse Lingard) before conceding two goals to Newcastle. Then, Manchester went ahead with eleven minutes remaining in regular time courtesy of a beautiful strike from Rooney before conceding the equalizer in extra time.  To pile on the misery, Manchester had more than their fair share of chances to seal the match and earn the full three points, but Lingard soared an open shot over the crossbar from within the goalkeeper's box and Marouane Fellaini drove a free header directly into the arms of Newcastle's goalkeeper.  Also, did I mention that Newcastle is currently in next to last place (nineteenth) in the Premier League?

Yesterday's result is only the tip of an ever-growing iceberg that threatens to sink Manchester United's chances for a Premier League title or a Champions League position. In Manchester United's last six league matches, Manchester has won one match while drawing two and losing three!  During this stretch, there has been ongoing speculation about the job security of manager Louis Van Gaal. Initially, I was in the "Keep LVG" camp unless Manchester United could secure Pep Guardiola as their new manager, but I am having second thoughts about my position and it is because I see little, if any, improvement.

I will say this about the position of Manchester United manager (because I have not really said much of anything so far); Manchester United should not hire Jose Mourinho.  I do not care about his desire to manage Manchester United, I do not care about his overall track record of success, and I am saying this as an admirer of the man.  Jose Mourinho is notorious for wrecking team chemistry, employing boring tactics, and neglecting youth development (i.e. the "Special One" comes with serious baggage).

Now, having made this statement, I am aware of the reports strongly linking Guardiola to rivals Manchester City.  So, what happens if Manchester United are unable to get Pep?  First, you terminate LVG's contract at the end of the campaign because Manchester United cannot sit idle while their city rivals continue to make progress.  Then, Manchester United need to make a decision concerning Ryan Giggs.  Will Manchester United's board throw Giggs straight into the fire with incredibly limited managerial experience?  Personally, I would prefer Giggs to take a position at a lower-tier club, but I will admit that it would be strange to see a Giggs-less sideline at Old Trafford.  If not Pep or Giggs, then who?  Frankly, only one name comes to mind:  Diego Simeone of Atletico Madrid. Simeone has the proven himself a more than capable manager--challenging the two pillars of Spanish football on a consistent basis, winning La Liga, winning the Copa del Rey, winning the Euro League, and reaching the finals of the Champions League.  While I would still prefer Pep, I would have no qualms with Simeone receiving the nod.

Anyways, I have "discussed" Manchester United for longer than I had planned and I actually had some other topics I wanted to discuss (e.g. the end of the Atlanta Silverbacks), but I think I will hold off on any further discussion because this post has gone on for too long.  SEE YA AND DFTBA!

2.199: Sleeping Struggle

Another early post--this could turn into a habit, but I doubt it.

First, RIP David Bowie. I'm unfamiliar with his works beyond his major hit tracks, but those tracks were incredible and I have only the utmost respect for the individuals that choose to create their own path rather than follow the crowd.

Second (and more to the point of this post), a thought: "Some people never learn while others will never make the effort." Or a more familiar:

Fool me once, shame on you.

Fool me twice (and then a third time and a fourth time and for good measure a fifth, sixth, seventh, and eighth time), shame on me for deliberately choosing to remain fucking ignorant!

So, my mother did it (like I and everyone else I knew she would), she bailed out the good-for-nothing, remorseless piece-of-shit. She did it yesterday and my only consolation is that I had no involvement--I wasn't even present--when she made yet another mistake clouded behind the precept of motherly love and obligation. I knew the moment she came into contact with him, it was over. Over in the sense that my lonely struggle to protect her from not only him but herself was done and over in the sense that I have lost a great deal of respect for her in that she would foolishly place others in this family at harm. Honestly, the piece-of-shit is a lowly drug pusher with a chip on his shoulder and the intelligence of a middle schooler. That sort of combination is terrifying in the sense that this piece-of-shit is incredibly likely to act out in a way that'll lead to pissing off the wrong people--the sort of people that can be just as remorseless but also incredibly ruthless. 

It is with a great deal of remorse that I must say that I have lost so much respect for my mother and that damage she willingly inflicted upon myself and potentially others may be untenable. I truly loathe this feeling, but I cannot with good conscious believe in her anymore. I made a promise to myself to try and be more positive and avoid the negative, but this situation makes it clear that I'm only making more difficult on myself if I choose to continue on this path.

2.198: A Party of Two

So, that holiday party I mentioned in my last post...not quite what I had planned. For starters, I'm not a social creature so to enter a social environment alone is terrifying to me. So because I was going to meet up with Mark, I made the choice to arrive late thinking that a 6.5 hour get together would not really pop off until a couple hours after the announced start time...WRONG! By the time Mark and I arrived, dinner had been served and the tables cleared. My primary consolation was the free Starbucks Pike Roast coffee that I had three cups to drink. I mean it was nice to get away from the house and it's always nice to hang out with a good friend, but he and I could have done that and I could have avoided the nearly 1.5 hour drive in wet conditions. I know that it is our own faults but would it have hurt them to splurge on a few snacks? Well, I cannot blame the organizers for our tardiness. It was nice to see a few familiar faces even if we only chatted for a few minutes and it is always a pleasure being around people with similar interests even if I am behind the times in regards to anime. Also, I did stop by a Taco Mac on the way back and their wings are still delicious though their ranch dipping sauce is kind of bleh--I prefer bleu cheese and that is what I got but the waitress gave me a cup of ranch too. Anyways, I've no plans for the next few days, which means I am stuck at the house with no Internet until tomorrow when I finally force my ISP to finally give me a new modem and my thoughts (which is always a dangerous situation). Also, I'm late on my student loan bill because I couldn't fax my request for forebearance to the loan company (issues with their lines not mine since I was using an online fax service). But, I will continue to try and better myself despite the feeling that everything is out to prevent that from occurring. GOOD BYE!

2.197: Party Rocking

I'm posting earlier than usual (still Internet at the house) because I may or may not be around to post at my usual time because Mark, my friend from yesterday, and I are planning to attend a "holiday" party that's being hosted by the anime convention that we volunteer at. I'm not much for "partying" or socializing with people I'm unfamiliar with, but I could definitely use a getaway from all of the bad stuff that's been happening recently. Anyways, that's what I'm hopefully doing and why I'm posting now. Also, I spoke with my ISP and they said our new modem should arrive today, but they also said it would be 2-3 days from Monday. At least, they're giving us a $10 credit for not having access to service for the past week. SEE YA!

2.196: Roadtripping

When I get bored, I drive...alone. But, from time to time, I have company and that's nice. Today, my companion was my former coworker, Billy. Basically, I took him comic shopping and we grabbed lunch at Sugarloaf Mills--my lunch was not very good but I expected that to be the case. We only ate there because we were meeting another friend, Mark. Anyways, I am tired and going on about four hours of sleep. Good night!

2.195: Not in 2016

My past few posts (mainly, my last post) are not what 2016 is about for me. 2016 is about positivity, being better and leaving all of that negativity behind me. If you're about that lifestyle, then I'm not about you and you see yourself out the door--SEE YA! Now, getting back on track--I'm still without proper a Internet connection, but I'm making it work. As for today, I got a haircut, ate at Five Guys with my dad, and I dropped by my grandpa's house. As for narrowing the focus of this site, I'm still working on it. Anyways, I'm looking for to more good stuff and less bad stuff in the year ahead. GOOD NIGHT!

2.193: Avoiding Trouble

I am avoiding a problem.

I made references to this problem in my last post and despite saying I would let this problem go; it is eating at me and I need to say something.

First, my mother's other son is currently in jail. He was arrested on January 1 on possession charges.

On January 2, I took my mother to get her car (which he had taken for his own use over two months ago) from the impound lot (cost: $125).

On Sunday evening, he attempted to contact my mother via a collect call; he failed because my mother's English is limited and she did not know how to accept his call (which would have cost her more money). At this point, I used I blocked the 800-number of the collect call as well as the county jail's number on her phone--so no more calls from him (at least, not to her phone).

Yesterday (January 4), he called my phone and left a message to tell my mother (and father) to come get him out of jail. I deleted the voice mail and blocked the number on my phone. Later,I received a text message from an unknown number telling me that he had asked me to tell my mother that his bond had been set at $10,000 (yes, you read that right). I have not told her or my father yet, but I did speak with my aunt and uncle about it and I'm sure if I do not say something to her soon; she will hear it from them. I have chosen not to tell her about the bond (or bail) yet because I know that despite her initial protests and statements saying she would leave him in jail; she does not have it in her to remain stern. And I have not unblocked the phone numbers I have blocked on her phone yet because I know that once she speaks to him, he will (1) make it known that I have been withholding information (though I have a certain degree of deniability) and (2) manipulate my mother into doing something she (nor anyone in our family) cannot afford to do; bail him out.

If you cannot tell, my mother's other son is the cause of my current misery and unbeknownst to my mother; he is the cause of our family's troubles. If it were up to me, he would remain in jail until his court date at which time he should be sentence to the maximum sentence and, perhaps, rehabilitation. This is first drug offense though he has been involved in the business for years, but this is not his first run in with the law.

His initial incident was disturbing the peace related violation as well as a few other misdemeanor traffic violations though law enforcement could have easily popped him for possession of an unregistered firearm. My father at the insistence of my mother bailed him out.  He had his driver's license suspended for a year though he still chose to drive.

The second time came the very weekend after receiving his driver's license back from suspension. He was popped for DUI and underage consumption. I believe his father bailed him out this round though it could have easily been my mother again. I believe they suspended his license again and placed him on probation.

These are the incidents that I'm aware of though I'm actually pretty certain that there was another incident. Oh and let's not forget the most recent incident with the 14 or so dogs in which city code enforcement very nearly had him arrested when he decided to aggressively protest the citations handed to him. This particular incident cost my mother $600 in fees for removing the dogs from our property and it could have been much worse if they had decided to arrest the property owner, my father. Also, the citations he received totaled $1000, which he would have had no means of paying because he refuses to find work. So that would've been another $1000 out of my mother's hands.

I do not have to say it because the evidence speaks for itself: he is a remorseless menace that will intentionally harm my mother because of her misguided beliefs about her role as a mother.  There is one thing to lend a helping hand to a child that has gone astray, but it is an entirely different thing to simply enable the problem child. At some point, she has to stop to herself and realize that he has to take some responsibility and learn the hard way.

Anyways, I have this out there to give some insight into the issues in find myself dealing with and why I have to work so hard to do what's right for me. To do what makes me happy and seeing my mother get used does not make me happy, especially, when it is a family member abusing her kindness and generosity.

2.192: No Net, No Problems?

Okay, I'm lying. There are a few problems but I'm still posting (via the Blogger's horrid iOS app) and I can go to my local library and knock out my Code Academy lesson for the day. Anyways, DSL will be down for a few days while I wait for a new modem to arrive. For now, I'm going to keep this short and just say that people need to know just how serious I am about cutting out the negative elements in my life. In the short-term, it is going to cause me a ton of grief because I am going to feel guilt-ridden about cutting someone or something out of my life, but I cannot be beholden to the sort of torment that is brought about by its or their presence. I am trying to do better in 2016 and in order to be better, I have to surround myself with positivity. That's all for tonight--have a good one!

2.191: Today's Silver Lining

Today has not been easy.  The growing unrest caused by the arrest of my mother's other son is creating tension between my parents and me.  I wrote about this on a more personal medium and I will leave it there because that does not help me become better and it allows the negativity I am trying to weed out of my life to further seep in.  Instead, I am going to focus on the positives of today and I will start by sending a shout out to the Carolina Panthers!

The Carolina Panthers finished the regular season with a 15-1 record following a 38-10 thumping of divisional rivals, Tampa Bay.  The win clinched home field advantage throughout the playoffs for the Panthers, which is always a nice perk to have during the postseason when all of the games are "win or go home".

Aside from the Panthers, I want to shout out the New York Jets and Buffalo Bills for playing an excellent game in which the Jets lost not only the game but their chance at clinching a playoff berth. The Jets' loss coupled with a win by the Pittsburgh Steelers against the hapless (and now, coachless and GM-less) Cleveland Browns meant the Steelers secured the final spot in the AFC playoffs.

And one more shout out to the New Orleans Saints for beating the Atlanta Falcons.  You can call it schadenfreude if you want, but I love seeing the Falcons lose and this loss is, even more, satisfying because it came a week after the Falcons shattered the Panthers' hopes of making history and becoming only the third team in NFL history (and the first in NFC history) to finish the NFL regular season undefeated.  Of course, the Falcons loss at the hands of the Saints serves as a stinging reminder of just how poorly the Panthers played last week that they would lose to such a poor team.

In a non-American football note, my beloved Manchester United finally (finally) ended their eight-match winless skid on Saturday when they defeated Swansea City, 2-1, courtesy of a beautiful back heel from captain Wayne Rooney, who also ended a goalless skid as well as put himself into second place for all-time goals scored in Premier League history and for Manchester United.  Congratulations Wayne!

2.190: Limitless Optimism

For 2016, I am going to try and focus my writing more.  In the past, I have typically written about nothing in particular.  In one post, I may vent and express personal outrage about something that has happened in my life while in another post; I would review (or try to review) a book, film, or television series.  In other words, I was all over the place in my writing and yet nowhere at all or to put it bluntly; I was clueless (or without purpose).

Over the next few weeks, I intend on expanding upon the Finding My Passion series of posts, but I am hellbent on identifying one to three topics in which I will focus most of my writing on in 2016 (or until I turn 33).  But, for now, I will continue expressing personal observations and writing about the technical aspects of this journal because this site is a personal archive of opinions and thoughts.  And who knows? This could be a good thing!

By the way, if you were wondering about some of the topics I am considering focusing on, here is an abridged list:  books, comics, films, music, sports, television, politics, gaming, anime, social issues, searching for employment, food, social media, and much more.  It is unnecessary to say it, but I have a lot of things to consider and not much time to consider it.  Wish me luck!

2.189: 2016

Hooray!  Happy 2016!

In 2016, I resolve to be more positive, to be less negative, and to do better every single day. 

I know that these goals sound vague and that is the point.  For 2016, I have made the decision to focus more on my mental and emotional health and it starts with embracing goodness and extracting darkness.

Of course, I will still set tangible goals, but my overarching resolutions for the new year is to take care of my mind because a sound mind leads to a sound body (and vice versa).

So, in the final few minutes of the first day of 2016, I wish you a Happy New Year!

2.186: Excuses

I'm a procrastinator.

I will not deny it.  In fact, I relish in this fact.

Of course, procrastination is detrimental to my productivity and slacking is something I cannot afford now.

I often contemplate taking measures to remedy this behavior, but nothing comes from my "efforts".

Why?  To be frank, it is because (1) I am lazy and (2) I enjoy creating excuses and then drafting posts about these excuses to publish.

The former reason for my inability to overcome procrastination is self-explanatory.

The latter reason requires further explanation, but not too much explanation.  Basically, it boils down to the fact that creating excuses and then writing about the excuses allows me to (1) increase my post count and (2) procrastinate more.

If I spent as much time on being productive as I do on creating excuses for not being productive, then this issue would be resolved.  But it is never that easy and even if I resolved this issue, I would still need to figure out how to overcome my laziness and that is an exercise that would require far more resolve than I currently possess.

I am writing all of this because I am procrastinating and not focusing on finding my passion.  For now, I will say that I am going to wait until 2016, but I am not too confident about the prospects of any sort of advancement in my journey.  Also, I am not in the mood to carry much from 2015 into 2016 because I simply want this year to end and I want to leave the final quarter of the year in the past. Excuses

2.180: Airing of Grievances

Less than ten minutes before the conclusion of Festivus and while I have no pole nor anyone to compete with at feats of strength, I could not let this opportunity to express some grief pass.  Here we go!

#1

I hate the belief that I am required to care about an individual simply because I share a bloodline with them.  In my opinion, the idea of family goes beyond blood--it involves a deep-rooted respect for an individual and an expectation that he/she will (1) have your back and (2) not hurt you or others you care about (physically and/or emotionally).

I could go on about this point and I just may at some point down the line, but for now: GRIEVANCES!

#2

I hate the fact that I have little control over my life and that my life is often in the hands of petty and small individuals.  I understand that a large portion of the blame lies upon my shoulders, but I have lived my life according to the rules of others and I have seen very little in the means of payoff.

#3

I hate supporters of Seattle sports teams (with the exception of Mariners fans because I do not know any and I do not care about baseball).  To be honest, I am not certain of why I feel the way I feel--I suppose you have to pick one sports city to hate and Seattle is it for me.

Anyways, enough for now. Happy Festivus (or what is left)!

2.179: Stuff I Fancy

Star Wars:  The Force Awakens

I loved the film and I would highly recommend it to anyone, especially, if they would not mind me tagging along because I would definitely watch it again.  I will admit that I am not an overzealous fanboy of the franchise, but I will also admit that there were moments during the film that made me fanboy squeal internally.  Anyways, I could go into further details about why I enjoyed the film, but there are plenty of glowing reviews available to read that would do this film far more justice than what I could offer.  BUT SERIOUSLY, GO SEE IT (and may the Force be with you)!

2.177: Stuff I Fancy

Before I continue on my search for enlightenment, I wanted to share some thoughts on a few books, films, and shows I recently finished.

Between the World and Me by Ta-Nehisi Coates

I thoroughly enjoyed reading this book and I would highly recommend it to anyone that is not racist and is interested in a beautifully written book about the black experience in America.

The Hunger Games:  Mockingjay, Part II

I will say this about the “final” installment of The Hunger Games film series:  I liked it better than the book.

One Punch Man

It is an incredibly entertaining series that is action-packed and light-hearted and I would recommend it to anyone that is in need of something fast-paced (only 12 episodes) and for this run; does not take itself too seriously.

2.173: Finding My Passion

“Find something you’re passionate about and keep tremendously interested in it.”

- Julia Childs

“Follow what you are genuinely passionate about and let that guide you to your destination.”

- Diane Sawyer

I am ready to admit that I am not a passionate individual.  From time to time, I will have a distraction that consumes a vast amount of my time, but I have never found that one thing that I am passionate about and that drives me.

If anything, I am an incredible “liker” of things (e.g. I like to write and I like to watch anime), but none of my “likes” or interests have ever evolved into a passion.  To be honest, a number of things I like are things would be better described as hobbies as oppose to passions.

Of course, the problem could lie with my perception of the term.  The quotes above should give an indication of my perception of passion, but to prevent any confusion:  Personally, a passion is the guiding belief (or force) that dictates every aspect of an individual’s existence.

“Those who stand for nothing fall for anything.”

- Alexander Hamilton

Over my thirty-two years of life, I have formed a series of personal beliefs about how things should be, but none of these beliefs have come to forefront as being the one guiding force.  And it is because of this and a few other personal flaws, I find myself in my current position.

It is because of my absence of conviction that I have made the decision to find my passion because I cannot accept the idea of remaining stagnant and pointlessly meandering through life.  At 32, I am desperately seeking a focus and a purpose, but most importantly; I am seeking a passion!

Fortunately, I do have a handful of beliefs that can become a meaningful, guiding passion that can make a difference to not only me, but to others too:

• Education:  I firmly believe that access to quality education is not a privilege, but a right that should be afforded to all and I believe this because I believe that an educated community is a prosperous community.  I was the first member of my family to not only attend college, but to graduate from college--twice!  But, the cost of obtaining a higher education has left me with a considerable amount of debt that will take years to clear.  The desire to educate and improve one's self should not mean I will have to start two steps behind my more fortunate (or affluent) peers that did not need to incur debt to afford college and yet, this is the situation that countless college graduates confront upon completion of their degree programs.
• Immigration:  As the son of immigrants, I have witnessed first-hand the difficulties of navigating the immigration system in the United States of America.  I have experienced both the heartbreak and the joy that comes from having a family member either denied or granted entry in the United States of America.  In fact, my original plan for college was to earn a Law degree and work as an immigration attorney so that I could assist individuals dealing with similar situations.  I believe that rather than close the doors to immigrants, our country should be embracing immigrants and simplifying the process of gaining lawful entry into the country. Our nation is a nation built upon the backs of immigrants and yet, we shun them and use them as scapegoats to explain our own shortcomings.  And that is wrong!
• Social Justice:  I realize that phrase "social justice" is a loaded and vague phrase that encompasses a wide array of issues, but in fact; the phrase is based upon a simple premise--a premise that I believe in:  all individuals should be afford the same rights as any other individual regardless of age, ethnicity, gender identification, race, religious affiliation, socioeconomic status, or sexual orientation (i.e. treat everyone equally regardless of our differences).  Women are equal to men and should be afforded the same wages and socially-accepted norms.  The bonds that help form homosexual couples are no different than the bonds that form the basis of heterosexual couples and therefore there should be no distinction between the two in regards to marital rights and status.  And I could go on and on with the various examples of social justice issues I believe in, but I will examine it in greater detail in future posts.

Yes, I intend to publishing more posts about my journey to discovering the passion that will drive me in my life decisions because I know that it is going to be a long and arduous task that will not be completed in a single journal post.  To be honest, it may never be something I discover, but I need to make this effort because I know that I should be doing more with my life.  Also, I do apologize for any and all grammatical errors--I love to write, but grammar was never a strong point--and for the length of this post though in comparison to my other posts; this post only seems drawn out.

2.168

I know that my last post ended on a sour note, but that is my current reality.  But, my mood swings are temporary and at present, I am feeling better.  Progress on my employment search remains at a standstill, but I did (1) look for positions and (2) assembled a grill with my father today. I understand that remaining stagnant neither assists nor benefits my search for employment, but I cannot summon the will necessary to put myself forward for criticism and judgment at this time; my mind is not in a good place.  Yes, the quick and easy solution would be to get over it and just do it, but that suggestion is as callous as it is difficult to actually do.  I am undergoing a personal crisis of confidence and fears of failure and rejection are overwhelming my psyche.  Please do not perceive this expression of emotion as simple whining, but rather view this expression as my way of releasing built up frustration and anguish.  The thirty-second year of my life over the course of the past two months has not been good and I need a way to overcome this rut and this is one of the ways I choose to cope.  I will not promise anything about the quality and mood of future posts because I cannot make that promise.  Some days will be good, other days will be bad, and the only constant that exists between each pending day is that I will never be certain of what will happen next…

2.167

As funny as it sounds, I have started work on another online project.  Unfortunately, I have been as productive with it as I have been with this journal and my employment search.  Regardless, I try (and I usually fail).  So, why am I sharing this information?  I am sharing this information because I wanted to write and I actually wanted to publish something tonight because the other post I am currently drafting is quickly turning into nonsensical rubbish (much like everything else I write).  In case anyone was wondering, my employment search has come to a complete halt as I have hit the inevitable wall of laziness and self-doubt.  It has been nearly two months since my termination and in this time, I have received one interview (which I failed because I did not get the position) and about seven rejection notices.  I have applied at various academic institutions, public libraries, and even a medical manufacturing company and nothing has panned out and I am now under the belief that I have been secretly blacklisted from library employment by previous employers.  Why do I believe I have been blacklisted?  I believe that I have been blacklisted because I continue to hear stories of how other former coworkers with less experience (and in multiple cases, I trained) are receiving interview requests or being hired for positions I also applied for.  Of course, I could be paranoid, but the lack of response to my applications despite my experience and education is incredibly discouraging.  I cannot understand it—I cannot understand why the individual responsible for hiring me at my previous library would not even give me an interview and yet she requested an interview from a friend that only worked part-time for about a year.  I cannot understand why my alma mater would hire an individual with less than a half-year of experience in a part-time, non-supervisory role rather than the individual that trained her when she was hired.  I hear these stories, I receive little or no response and what response I do receive; it is negative.  I am at a loss and what little confidence I had at the start of this misadventure has dissipated into a farce that I put on in front of friends to ensure them that they do not need to worry about me.  To be honest, I hoped that writing this out would help, but it has only made me more frustrated…

2.128

November 1:  Holy crap!  So, today has been wet.  The day has been filled with persistent rainfall and it does not look as though it will let up until forever!  Today, is the start of NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month) for many people--it is not for me.  But, I'm still posting on a far more consistent basis (though I still miss days--a lot of days).  To be honest, the rain is a drain and I could do without the emotional drain right now because the upcoming week is going to be a critical week.  On top of the ongoing domestic stress, my professional stress levels are about to enter into overdrive because of a number of things (aside from my current state of unemployment), but mainly, these two things: 1) I'm like to find out if my unemployment benefits claim is either accepted or denied--I'm lending towards the latter because I'm a pessimist and because my phone interview with the assessor went less than good--and 2) I'm hoping to hear something from my primary employment opportunity because if I do not hear from it, then I can pretty much draw the curtains on my career as a librarian because if can't even get an interview for a position in which I have legitimate connections at; then I'm not getting a shot anywhere else (at least, not in a library position).

Anyways, my stress and tension level are at critical and this dreary weather is not helping me.  In yesterday's post, I noted my disdain for Halloween and I spent the day doing near nothing.  So, I was restless today and suffering from cabin fever on top of the aforementioned stress.  I needed to get out, I needed an escape--so, I did what I normally do when I have little to no disposable income:  I drove--thank goodness for below $2 per gallon gasoline prices.  I had no destination, but it is never really about the destination--it's always about me being in my car listening to music and driving (or escaping).  Of course, pathetic me--I wind up in Athens at the library (I seriously cannot get away from libraries, but then again, I really don't want to).  I spent about an hour reading comics and thinking of my next immediate move, but I had gotten my day started much too late and I dislike driving in the dark and I dislike driving in the dark during a rain storm even more.  So, I went home, but I got away for a bit and afterwards, I spent it watching Sidemen YouTube gaming videos and now, I've been stuck on a new obsession:  Casey Neistat videos.

Honestly, this guy is hustling hard and he's only two years older than me.  He is doing so much and it looks as though he is enjoying every minute of it.  I want to say that he's inspired me, but I know that would be bullshit statement because inspiration means actually taking some form of action.  In truth and more accurately, he's made me envious though I keep on wanting to say otherwise.  I mean watching his work makes me want to do better, but let's be frank:  it isn't going to get any better than this for me, but it can sure as hell get worse.  Anyways, I think I'm going to get back to living vicariously through another.