I know that my last post ended on a sour note, but that is my current reality. But, my mood swings are temporary and at present, I am feeling better. Progress on my employment search remains at a standstill, but I did (1) look for positions and (2) assembled a grill with my father today. I understand that remaining stagnant neither assists nor benefits my search for employment, but I cannot summon the will necessary to put myself forward for criticism and judgment at this time; my mind is not in a good place. Yes, the quick and easy solution would be to get over it and just do it, but that suggestion is as callous as it is difficult to actually do. I am undergoing a personal crisis of confidence and fears of failure and rejection are overwhelming my psyche. Please do not perceive this expression of emotion as simple whining, but rather view this expression as my way of releasing built up frustration and anguish. The thirty-second year of my life over the course of the past two months has not been good and I need a way to overcome this rut and this is one of the ways I choose to cope. I will not promise anything about the quality and mood of future posts because I cannot make that promise. Some days will be good, other days will be bad, and the only constant that exists between each pending day is that I will never be certain of what will happen next…
