I made references to this problem in my last post and despite saying I would let this problem go; it is eating at me and I need to say something.
First, my mother's other son is currently in jail. He was arrested on January 1 on possession charges.
On January 2, I took my mother to get her car (which he had taken for his own use over two months ago) from the impound lot (cost: $125).
On Sunday evening, he attempted to contact my mother via a collect call; he failed because my mother's English is limited and she did not know how to accept his call (which would have cost her more money). At this point, I used I blocked the 800-number of the collect call as well as the county jail's number on her phone--so no more calls from him (at least, not to her phone).
Yesterday (January 4), he called my phone and left a message to tell my mother (and father) to come get him out of jail. I deleted the voice mail and blocked the number on my phone. Later,I received a text message from an unknown number telling me that he had asked me to tell my mother that his bond had been set at $10,000 (yes, you read that right). I have not told her or my father yet, but I did speak with my aunt and uncle about it and I'm sure if I do not say something to her soon; she will hear it from them. I have chosen not to tell her about the bond (or bail) yet because I know that despite her initial protests and statements saying she would leave him in jail; she does not have it in her to remain stern. And I have not unblocked the phone numbers I have blocked on her phone yet because I know that once she speaks to him, he will (1) make it known that I have been withholding information (though I have a certain degree of deniability) and (2) manipulate my mother into doing something she (nor anyone in our family) cannot afford to do; bail him out.
If you cannot tell, my mother's other son is the cause of my current misery and unbeknownst to my mother; he is the cause of our family's troubles. If it were up to me, he would remain in jail until his court date at which time he should be sentence to the maximum sentence and, perhaps, rehabilitation. This is first drug offense though he has been involved in the business for years, but this is not his first run in with the law.
His initial incident was disturbing the peace related violation as well as a few other misdemeanor traffic violations though law enforcement could have easily popped him for possession of an unregistered firearm. My father at the insistence of my mother bailed him out. He had his driver's license suspended for a year though he still chose to drive.
The second time came the very weekend after receiving his driver's license back from suspension. He was popped for DUI and underage consumption. I believe his father bailed him out this round though it could have easily been my mother again. I believe they suspended his license again and placed him on probation.
These are the incidents that I'm aware of though I'm actually pretty certain that there was another incident. Oh and let's not forget the most recent incident with the 14 or so dogs in which city code enforcement very nearly had him arrested when he decided to aggressively protest the citations handed to him. This particular incident cost my mother $600 in fees for removing the dogs from our property and it could have been much worse if they had decided to arrest the property owner, my father. Also, the citations he received totaled $1000, which he would have had no means of paying because he refuses to find work. So that would've been another $1000 out of my mother's hands.
I do not have to say it because the evidence speaks for itself: he is a remorseless menace that will intentionally harm my mother because of her misguided beliefs about her role as a mother. There is one thing to lend a helping hand to a child that has gone astray, but it is an entirely different thing to simply enable the problem child. At some point, she has to stop to herself and realize that he has to take some responsibility and learn the hard way.
Anyways, I have this out there to give some insight into the issues in find myself dealing with and why I have to work so hard to do what's right for me. To do what makes me happy and seeing my mother get used does not make me happy, especially, when it is a family member abusing her kindness and generosity.
