2.279: Quick Blurbs 004

Wendi Deng

My initial reaction to this topic:  EW!  I am rather open-minded when it comes to sexual intercourse but the thought of sleeping with someone that has slept with Rupert Murdoch is repulsive.  Of course, I am a bleeding-heart liberal with an intense distaste for the man responsible for FOX News.

Emily Ratajkowski

(1) Who?  And (2) why?  Topless Kim Kardashian is a topic should have died weeks (if not, years) ago but the media thrives off this nonsense as evidenced by its perpetual rehashing of the topic.  Personally, I am done with it and will be skipping it in future columns.

Finding Dory

Will Finding Dory be as good as Finding Nemo? Who knows? But I am willing to find out when it hits Netflix in a year or two. Personally, I enjoyed Nemo and while I have some reservations about the necessity of Dory, I understand why it exists.

Wheel of Fortune

I cannot remember the last time I watched Wheel of Fortune but to answer a thirteen (?) letter puzzle is somewhat impressive. Though after watching the entire video, I sort of felt bad for the his opponents but I suppose the man wanted to get paid.

William Shatner

Paternity lawsuits are serious. For many, paternity lawsuits are the only means of ensuring both parents are accountable for the decision to conceive a child. There are legitimate issues surrounding such cases but simply because one party’s a celebrity or the amount being requested seems absurd doesn’t diminish the process.

2.278: Distractions

I have been distracted the past few days. In between starting a new job and serving as host for my younger cousin, I have allowed the quality of my post to dwindle to lower than usual.

First, I am in the process of starting a new job. It is far from my ideal position but it is a start and it is a (very) small source of income.  The new job is with a friend (if I have said it before, I will say it again:  NETWORK!) at a growing discount retail chain. I hope this will mark the start of an upward trend in my life and allow me the opportunity to shed the unwarranted stereotypes associated with unemployed individuals seeking employment.

Second, I have spent much of the past three days with my extended family because a cousin was visiting. I actually did not mind the situation because I actually like this cousin. I know that sounds horrible but long-term readers of John Past 30 will know that my relationships with many members of my family are (to put it nicely) strained. Fortunately, I am able to enjoy the company of this particular cousin and I do not mind spending time with her.

Anyways, everything is back to “normal” as my cousin returned to California last night and all of the paperwork I needed to complete regarding my new job is finished; I simply have to wait for it to be processed. I know that the quality of my posts has never been too high but I hope that I will be able to publish better dribble than what I have been publishing over the past couple of days.

2.277: Random Topics 004

Warning:  Use These 5 Tips at Your Own Risk

1)  DON'T brush your teeth at least twice a day

2)  PAY for college tuition with a credit card

3)  TAKE OUT a private student loan

4)  LISTEN to They

5)  ACCEPT life advice from Snapchatting hip-hop moguls

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The benefits of... sexual intercourse

I would not know because I have not had sex in a very long time.  But, I am a firm believer that a number of great tragedies could have been averted if only the perpetrators of these tragedies were able to have sex.

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The Cheater's Guide to... ruining a friendship by sleeping with your friend's wife.

1)  Find a friend

2)  Make sure your friend has an attractive (and sex-crazed) spouse

3)  Fuck the spouse while your friend is at work

4)  Regret your decision despite how good the sex felt

5)  Respond to your regret by cutting your ex-friend (and their spouse) out of your life

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Sorry for the half-assed column and the terrible jokes but I am feeling rather poor at the moment and I needed to draft this column now or I may not have a chance to draft it later today.

2.276: Pitch Notes (03.29)

RECENT RESULTS:

GUATEMALA 2:0 United States MNT

CONCACAF World Cup Qualifying | Friday, 25 March 2016 | Estadio Nacional Mateo Flores

NOTES:

With all of the domestic league clubs I support on hiatus because of the international break, it was time for the United States men's national team (USMNT) to take the spotlight as it resumed the group stage action in CONCACAF 2018 FIFA World Cup qualifying. And while the USMNT managed to find itself in the spotlight following the match, the USMNT garnered the spotlight for all the wrong reasons. Prior to the start of the match, a key statistic being thrown about was the fact that the USMNT had not lost a match against Guatemala in twenty-one straight meetings. Well, the USMNT lost to Guatemala on Friday.

In an embarrassing and shameful display of questionable coaching tactics and abysmal player performances during the opening half of play, the USMNT found itself behind 2:0 at halftime. The second half saw a better performance from the players as they managed to "challenge" the Guatemalan goalkeeper multiple times and in quick succession at times. Unfortunately, the efforts of the USMNT seemed as though they were intended to make the Guatemalan goalkeeper appear as though he was a world class goalkeeper as the USMNT attackers continuously struck the ball directly towards the goalkeeper.

And 2:0 is where the match the ended, leaving the USMNT in a difficult must-win situation against a national team side that the USA should have easily managed a positive result against.

2.275: Reviewing Zootopia

Zootopia (2016)

I honestly cannot remember the last film I watched from Walt Disney Animation Studios (I am not counting Disney Pixar films) but I am certain that it was not as good as Zootopia. When I first heard about Zootopia, I brushed it aside as yet another animated feature anthropomorphic animals but this film was seriously good; much better than I could have imagined and far better than it should have been.

The premise of the film is simple: a bunny (voiced by Ginnifer Godwin) achieves her life's dream of becoming a police officer only to be confronted by the realization that her optimistic perception of the world (or more specifically, Zootopia) is flawed by the inherent prejudices that exist within it. I would continue to go further in explaining the plot of the film but I would risk spoiling the film.

With Zootopia, Disney managed to strike a fine balance between an entertaining and fun film for all ages with a message of tolerance and seeing beyond the prejudices that are passed on through the generations. Some will say that such a message does not have a place in a children's film but there is a good chance that the individuals raising such a complaint are close-minded, paranoid individuals with a warped perspective of the world (or Trump supporters).

I would highly encourage parents to take their children to see Zootopia or do like I did and go see it with a friend.

2.274: Drop a Like 002

It's time for another edition of "Drop a Like", my bi-weekly look at the YouTube videos I felt the need to share, let's get started:

Our first video is a trip down (a slightly altered) memory lane as Jimmy Fallon and actor, rapper, and voice actor(?) Ice T reflect upon some of Ice T's work as the voice of many of our childhood icons. It goes without saying that things are not as we remember.

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Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice is finally in theaters this weekend and the reviews have not been so kind to the DC Comics/Warner Bros. movie tasked with setting the foundation for the DC Comics cinematic universe.  Of course, the poor reviews are not entirely lost on Ben Affleck as demonstrated by his reaction when questioned about the topic.  (Almost assuredly, the facial expression is not an actual representation of his feelings about the movie or the reviews.  I mean, Affleck did star in Daredevil and directed and star in Gigli--I think he can handle some criticism.) Anyways, cue the Simon and Garfunkle!

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Our final video of the week comes courtesy of Vox and my newest favorite source of news and political commentary, Liz Plank. In the premiere episode of her latest YouTube project, 2016ish, Plank sits down with Prime Minister Justin Trudeau of Canada to discuss a number of topics including the potential influx of American immigrants into Canada following the 2016 Presidential Election.  Now, I try not to get too political in my entertainment columns but it is a fun, interesting, and informative video involving one of the rising stars in North American (if not, global) politics.

2.273B: Smash the Stash 003

Old Man Logan #3 (Secret Wars 2015)

Brian Michael Bendis, Writer

Andrea Sorrentino, Artist

In this issue, Logan finds himself at the sprawled out at the feet of Apocalypse, engaging and eventually being trounced by a Thor, and then cast out of Technopolis by War Machine Thor into the Deadlands where he is left to fend for himself against a surrounding horde of Venom symbiotes and zombies.  To be honest, what actually happened in this issue?  Logan learns the "truth" about Battleworld and now seeks an audience with Doom but what actually happens?  I suppose he exacerbates the festering animosity between Apocalypse and Doom by giving cause for Apocalypse to engage a Thor though Apocalypse's forces are easily repelled by the "goat-headed" Thor.  Aside from this moment, it does not seem as though this issue advances the plot in any manner; it is simply filler.

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Ultimate End #5 (Secret Wars 2015)

Brian Michael Bendis, Writer

Mark Bagley, Artist

I have always been a fan of the Miles Morales character despite having little familiarity with the character.  I suppose the idea of a young, ethnic individual carrying the mantle of one of the world's most renown superheroes played a significant role in my appreciation for the character.  Regardless, Morales takes center stage (kind of) in the final issue of this mini-series as it is up to him to (1) stop the conflict between the heroes of the Marvel-1610 and Marvel-616 universes, (2) convince the heroes that their god, Doom, is not a god at all and simply a villain that managed to garner god-like powers, and (3) lead the heroes into a seemingly impossible conflict in which the fate of all the worlds of Battleworld is unknown.  In terms of actual action within the pages of the book, it was all very limited but the manner of which the plot was carried out did manage to elicit a bit of emotion from me.  Of course, this book may have further spoiled the Secret Wars finale but we all know that the heroes would triumph; they always do.  By the way, I will The Punisher his due as it was he that (1) subdued gray Hulk from crushing Morales as Morales tried to convince the heroes and (2) was left behind by the other heroes and forced to confront the Thors thus perishing.

2.273A: Real [Librarian] Talk

Article:

“In praise of non-degreed librarians” by  Michelle A. Schingler (23 March 2016)

A couple of non-related odd points before I proceed with my post:  (1) I was originally introduced to this article by a former coworker that shared the article on Facebook and (2) the author of the article is another former coworker from my previous position.

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I agree with the sentiments of the article though I may not share the same romanticized view for why “non-degreed librarians” continue to serve in the positions they serve.  In the past, I have shared my opinions on the absurdity of the librarian certification process and the uselessness of graduate degrees in Library Science in regards to public libraries.  And yesterday, many of the beliefs I held on these topics were confirmed in the Facebook comments section for this article.

Within the comments, the distinction between “degreed librarians” and “non-degreed librarians” became very clear.  Librarians (i.e., individuals possessing graduate degrees in Library Science and certification) were quick to find the errors in thought processes of Ms. Schingler and library assistants (i.e., non-certified individuals without a related graduate degree).  According to “Librarians”, the title of “Librarian” is a professional designation reserved only for those that completed an accredited MLS program.  The “Librarians” were quick to point out that simply because an individual works within a physician’s office does not make the individual a physician.  Touché—in this regard, the “Librarians” are correct; I would not walk into a physician’s office and ask the receptionist at the front desk to conduct a thorough examination of my prostate because (1) the individual at the front desk was not hired to perform such a duty and (2) I would likely be asked to leave or risk having law enforcement called on me.  And that first reason for why I would not approach the front desk receptionist to conduct a prostate examination for me is where the assertion of the “Librarians” goes awry.  The receptionist at a physician’s office is typically not hired to serve in the role of the physician whereas library assistants are oftentimes hired to fulfill the roles of “Librarians” in the absence of a “Librarian”.  By making such an assertion, the “Librarians” are proving my past assertion that one of the reasons why the arcane institution of professional certification for librarians continues to exist is to create a false level of importance or significance to the designation.  In reality, the title of “Librarian” is only significant to those that “wasted” the additional time and money to earn the degree.

And the worst part of the situation was that the “Librarians” continued to grasp at straws while attempting to demonstrate their significance to the world.  In the mind of some “Librarians”, it is inconceivable that a “non-degreed” library employee could grasp the concepts of various classification systems without a graduate-level degree or state-issued certification.  In one heated exchange, a “Librarian” said as much while at the same time quickly dismissing the notion of an individual’s right to express an opinion much less an opinion that was in contradiction to his own.  And when dismissing contradictory opinions became too burdensome, the “Librarians” returned to the previous notion that they were important ones that were responsible for bringing professionalism to the field and that they were responsible for ensuring “Librarians” are paid adequately for their unique and certified skill set.  I am sorry to burst your bubble but professionalism is the result of individual actions in regards to the responsibilities they are expected to fulfill and your unique skill sets are part of the reason why lowly “non-degreed” library employees get paid so poorly.  And the belief that “Librarians” are professionals while “non-degreed” library employees are simply paraprofessionals is the pinnacle of unwarranted pretentiousness.  Allow one more opportunity to scale that pretentiousness and it is an analogy that has become a personal favorite:  In the state of Georgia, one most either possess or be in the process of obtaining a graduate-level degree in a library-related field in order to even apply for certification.  Meanwhile, in the state of Georgia, no collegiate-level degree is needed to apply for certification to be an engineer albeit it would be difficult to obtain such certification without some academic foundation.  But, the point of this analogy is that the difference between a certified and non-certified engineer could be the lives of others that are endangered from faulty engineering while the difference between a certified Librarian and a non-certified library employee is that it may take slightly longer for a patron to locate their obscure material request.  And yet, the profession in which the lives of other could be endangered by an engineer’s negligence and lack of qualifications does not require a collegiate-level degree to obtain certification while the profession of little to no consequence does.

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I suspect that my opinion is an unpopular opinion especially because I diminish the value of an entire class of individuals’ academic degrees but I will say it is not a total wash.  Within an academic setting, a graduate-level library degree could be of some importance in that one could use it to obtain an instructional position where one could then perpetuate the same false ideas concerning the significance of the degree.  But, within a public library setting, hands-on experience is more than the equal to a graduate degree.

2.272: Quick Blurbs 003

Malcolm in the Middle

To be honest, if you are talking about Malcolm in the Middle today and you are not talking about Bryan Cranston, then I do not care.

The Matrix

(1) I have never seen any of The Matrix trilogy and (2) enough with the fan theories!  Fan theories are nothing more than speculation conjured up by individuals with too much time on their hands.

The LEGO Batman Movie

The LEGO Movie was "AWESOME" and one of the most memorable characters from the movie was LEGO Batman so to see Will Arnett reprise the role for a spin-off movie is good news for fans; it should be a fun movie.

Wonder Woman

So Warner Bros. released a "women of Themyscira" teaser image for the upcoming Wonder Woman movie and it is what it is.  I am personally hyped at Wonder Woman finally receiving the big screen treatment.  By the way, Robin Wright looks like a total badass.

Shemar Moore

I have never watched Criminal Minds so I have no clue about who Shemar Moore is or who she portrayed in the series.  Regardless, good luck to her in her future endeavors.

2.271: I'M ANGRY!

I am angry!  I am outraged!  I am torn asunder by anguish!  I am actually...meh.

If you read the news or listen to the radio (odd that I would choose two of the most antiquated forms of news gathering), then you would know that we are angry!  We are angry at the bureaucratic suits that have stymied our country's progress!  We are outraged at the greedy Wall Street fat cats that stuff their pockets with ill-gotten gains!  We are furious at the lack of diversity in Hollywood!  And we are pissed at yoga being taught to grade school children!  Seriously!  We are filled with feelings of AAUGH!

Again, not really.  Oh, I will not deny that I am not annoyed by many things (e.g., petty former employers, useless trolls residing in the family storage shed, etc.) but I am not really outraged by anything.  If anything, I am sort of amused by it.  Yes, I understand that there are certain situations that warrant angst (e.g., the continued rise of Donald Trump) but to be so consumed by anger that you become irrational and lose all sense of self is absurd.  As the old adage says:  "Keep calm and carry on".

Personally, I have gotten better at controlling my temper and while I will from time to time "lose it", "it" is generally lost in a harmless, playful manner meant more for jest than actual outrage.  I "rage" on the road to garner a cheap laugh and nothing more.  For me, remaining calm is paramount and if there is something that genuinely warrants anger, then it is important for me to understand why I feel the way I feel.  Anger achieves little--it only hinders the solution.

So rather than lash out in rage, consider what options you can take to resolve the issue that is confronting you and if you still decide that anger is the best course of action, then who am I to argue?

2.270: Random Topics 003

The single most important advice I have to give you is...never go into debt. Only a man that is free of debt is truly free.  I wish I had known this fact but there was no one there to teach me this lesson. If I were debt free, then I would be in a much better position than I am today.  Every month I spend over $700 repaying debt.  Now, if I did not have any debt, then I would be free to use that $700+ on what I want and unemployment would not be such a burden because I would not have to worry about making my next credit card payment or risk being penalized with exorbitant late fees.  Unfortunately, I had no one to explain to me the unnecessary burden of credit cards, private student loans, and other forms financially-debilitating debts.  So, I say to you with all sincerity:  Do not incur debt.  If you wish to make a big purchase (e.g., an automobile or a home), then work and save your money until you are able to afford to purchase the item with cash.  It may take some time and a lot of sacrifices but you will not be tethered to anyone and it will be more cost-effective since you will not be paying interest rates.

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I wanted to recommend you watch...FLCL.  I could have recommended a number of books or television series but I decided to recommend my favorite anime series of all time.  FLCL (or Fooly Cooly) is one of the wildest things I have ever seen--animated or otherwise.  The series features various animation styles throughout its six-episode run and one of the best soundtracks from a television series. The characters are fun and over-the-top even the dour and much-too-mature-for-her-age Eri Ninamori and the plot is something right out of a fanboy's dream.  I want to say much more but I do not want to ruin it for anyone even if it is fifteen years old.  Please, go and watch it!

2.269: Pitch Notes (03.21)

RECENT RESULTS:

Manchester United 1:1 Liverpool

Liverpool Advance 1:3 on Aggregate

UEFA Europa League | Thursday, 17 March 2016 | Old Trafford

Manchester United 1:0 Manchester City

Barclays Premier League | Sunday, 20 March 2016 | Etihad Stadium

Sporting Kansas City 1:0 Toronto FC

Major League Soccer | Sunday, 20 March 2016 | Children's Mercy Park

Notes:

Overall, I would say that it was a good week for my clubs.  Yes, Manchester United was eliminated by its bitter Northwest Derby rivals Liverpool from the Europa League but they were able to claim a massive result against another (in my opinion, more important) bitter rival Manchester City.  The 1:0 result that came courtesy of another Marcus Rashford goal put Manchester United just ONE point behind Manchester City for the all-important fourth UEFA Champions League spot.  Yes, Manchester United are technically in sixth place behind West Ham United on goal difference but being a point out from the Champions League is incredibly important with only eight matches remaining in the campaign.

As for Sporting Kansas City, one could not ask for a better start than three straight wins from the first three matches of the season.  Also, Brad Davis continues to endear himself to The Cauldron as he was responsible for the match-winner Sunday evening against a previously undefeated Toronto FC side that featured reigning MLS MVP Sebastian Giovinco and the United States international (and sometimes captain) Michael Bradley.

Both clubs will be off next week for International matches so the spotlight will be on the United States men's national team as they head into a home-and-away pair of matches against Guatemala in World Cup qualifying.

2.268: WTF Mourinho?

WTF Jose Mourinho?!

I will admit that I have discussed this topic to the point of annoyance but it is a topic that will fade away for a brief time and then resurface whenever Manchester United suffer a poor spell of play (which, unfortunately, occurs with more frequency than any Manchester United supporter would care to admit).  Well, this morning, the rumor reared its head once more thanks to an article from a Spanish newspaper that stated that Mourinho and Manchester United had come to terms in regards to a "pre-contract".  WHAT?!  What the hell is a "pre-contract"?  If two parties enter into a signed agreement, then would that make the agreement between the two parties a contract?  Apparently, no!  According to the Spanish newspaper (of reputable standing), Manchester United reached an agreement with Mourinho that states that if the club did not act to formally sign Mourinho to an "actual" contract by a particular date, then Manchester United would be responsible for paying 5-million British pounds to Mourinho and it gets better:  if the club failed to come to terms with Mourinho by a second deadline, then the club would have to pay Mourinho an addition 10-million British pounds.  Are you serious?  Who would honestly believe that any rational person or organization would agree to terms with another individual or organization in which one party (Manchester United) would agree to pay a possible 15-million pounds to another party (Mourinho) for doing nothing?  And by the way, why is it a Spanish newspaper that has access to this sort of information?  Because the last time I checked, Manchester United is an English football club and Jose Mourinho is an unemployed Portuguese football manager.

Look, I understand the English media is enduring a raging erection at the possibility of covering a Manchester Derby featuring two of the biggest managerial rivals on the planet, but English (and any other football-covering) media outlets need to take a cold shower and relax.  I have said this many times before and it is clear that I need to say it again:  Jose Mourinho is an accomplished football manager and most clubs around the globe would be elated to have him in their dugout but he is not the manager that Manchester United need to resurrect their dominance over the Premier League.

2.267: Anime Queue Crush 001

Welcome to Anime Queue Crush!  I have a load of anime to watch from years past and I am bringing you along for the ride!

In this edition of "Anime Queue Crush", I am finally getting around to starting the sequel to 2010's Durarara!! series:  Durarara!!x2 Shou.  As usual, I will try to not delve too deeply into any of the details of the series because (1) most people hate spoilers and (2) the series is just over a year old and you have probably already seen it already.  Regardless, you can think of this column as one of those terrible YouTube reaction videos only worse because it is in TEXT!

DISCLAIMER:  I prefer to watch English-dubbed versions of anime (if available) because (1) I do not speak Japanese, (2) if I can avoid reading--even subtitles--while watching a television series I will, and (3) I like to make the die-hard anime otaku cry (^.-) though not really.

Anyways, the first two episodes of the series serve as fast-paced introduction / re-introduction to the characters of the series portrayed in the manner of an out-of-continuity recap episode of a long-running anime series except it is not a recap episode.  To be honest, the manner in which the episodes, particularly the second episode, cut back-and-forth between the present which features a "fourth wall" breaking Shinra Kishitani that is trapped within a shadow sphere and the significant events leading towards the present happenings can be confusing though not really.  In truth, my primary handicap heading into the series is the fact that it has been a half-decade since I watched the original Durarara!! series.

Regardless, the series quickly hits on many of the key traits that intrigued the audience of the original series though it does feel too rushed at certain points.  One specific instance of this being the seemingly out of place sequence with Shizuo Heiwajima and the "petty thieves" in the park, but I am certain more about that particularly situation will be explained in later episodes.  Overall, I will say that I will try to work through this series quickly though I will probably discuss another series in the next edition of this column.  My advice in regards to Durarara!!x2 Shou is to give it shot but only after watching (or re-watching, if it has been some time since your last viewing) Durarara!!.

So join me next time as work through yet another one of my ridiculously backlogged entertainment media queues.  (Honestly, for an unemployed individual, one would think that all I have is time to watch anime, read comics, and play video games.)

2.266: Smash the Stash 002

Secret Wars #7

Jonathan Hickman, Writer

Esad Ribic, Artist

Alex Ross, Cover

Damn Johnny, back at it again with...the next issue of Marvel's Secret Wars.  The final battle of Battleworld has begun and the competing forces are starting to take their shape as we witness multiple betrayals of Doom (Sinister, Thors, Hulks, and Zombies[?]).  Meanwhile,  Reed (616) and The Maker (Reed of 1610) prepare to embark on their mission to obtain the source of Doom's power.  To be honest, the issue was not nearly as interesting as the previous issue and that is probably because things moved more straightforward thus causing the issue to become rather predictable and not all that intriguing.  Yes, the battle is finally going down and all that remains is for the dust to settle and I am confident the Reeds will finally confront Doom and someone will betray someone else and blah, blah, blah.  Of course, maybe I am wrong but things will definitely need to pick up in Issue #8.

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Battleworld:  Ultimate End #4

Brian Michael Bendis, Writer

Mark Bagley, Artist

Tony Stark, his doppelganger (you can decide which is which), and Bruce Banner have taken refuge in Avengers Tower from Marvel-1610 Nick Fury, S.H.I.E.L.D., and a small band of Marvel-1610 and Marvel-616 heroes.  Fury and his allies are after The Hulk while the Starks and Banner are working on a dimensional rift that could either save the lives of the people in their Battleworld domain of Manhattan or rip apart the existence that Doom has created for them.  Meanwhile, the homicidal vigilante, The Punisher continues in a downward spiral that pushes him toward murdering not just criminals but heroes as well.  Also, Doom and Valeria make an appearance in this issue where they discuss their course of action in response to the discovery made by the Starks as well as the impending battle that is set to occur between the Marvel-616 and Marvel-1610 heroes.  As for the cover of the issue and Miles Morales, he does not even make an appearance until the final panel.  In my opinion, this issue was lacking in terms of flow and quality of art.

2.265B: Quick Blurbs Extra

The problem with hot takes (or "Quick Blurbs") is that I am only able to give my take on things that are trending at the moment I start drafting the post meaning I miss out on things that occur throughout the day.  Of course, capturing my thoughts on hot-at-that-moment topics is the point of "Quick Blurbs" but there will be moments where I want to discuss something of importance that may occur after I publish my latest column.  Anyways, what I am trying to say is that I have one more topic I would like to discuss and I will try and do so in less than fifty words like usual.

Nike's New US Soccer Kits

SOURCE:  Nike (courtesy of Sports Illustrated)

The new design for the US Soccer kits is LAZY. Normally, I am a fan of simplicity, but the shirts look more like training shirts rather than what a national team should be wearing in a major international tournament.  Honestly, I am now elated that Manchester United switched to Adidas.

2.265A: Quick Blurbs 002

Captured at 14:40 EDT on 17 March 2016

First, Happy Saint Patrick's Day to those that "celebrate" this day!  And now, Quick Blurbs:

X-Men:  Apocalypse

Honestly, this should be part of my next “Drop a Like” column because there is too much to say and not nearly enough space to say here.  Still, I will say that I am still thrown off by the way the “teams” are aligned, but film rights, amirite?

Ben-Hur

How does the old adage go?  Why come up with a new and original idea when you can simply remake it or reboot it?  I never watched the original and I will most likely not watch the remake, but good luck to Paramount Pictures anyways.

Olivia Wilde

I have not seen The Wolf of Wall Street so I am uncertain of the character being referenced, but casting directors and movie producers are free to decide who is best for the character they are casting. I will say that Olivia Wilde probably would have done a good job.

Floyd Mayweather Jr.

Honestly, what respect I had for Mayweather dissipated long ago when it came out that he was a domestic abuser. This is just another example of an older, more powerful man seeking to exert his dominance by exhibiting his ability to “attract” a younger woman.

Taylor Swift and Calvin Harris

I have stumbled upon some their photos on Instagram and good for the couple.  I am sure they are enjoying a lovely vacation in a beautiful locale.  As to why this is trending news, who knows? I always thought the old joke was that people hated vacation pictures.

2.264: Real [Sports] Talk

So, I thought I would write about some of the things that have been on my mind lately aside from my inability to find gainful, full-time employment with benefits.  March Madness is here and aside from the casual glances at the score from Georgia games, I know very little about this year's brackets but I do have an opinion on one particular matter that annoys me:  11-seed "play-in" games.  I think they are bullshit.  The only seed that should have a "play-in" game is the 16-seed because these teams were legitimately the final teams selected to participate in the tournament.  Having potential "11-seeds" play to gain entry into the field of 64 is nonsense because you are essentially saying:  win and you are the 11-seed, lose and you are the technically the 17-seed or the team that just missed out on the 16-seed to Austin Peay and Hampton (the two 16-seed schools that did not have to participate in the "First Four" play-in games).  Exactly, what sort of bullshit logic is being employed here?  If the four schools forced to play in the 11-seed First Four games were deemed worthy of vying for the 11-seed in the first place, then would it not make more sense for one school to be the 11-seed and while the other school is the 12-seed?  Also, if the point of these First Four games is to expand the field while not officially expanding the field (because these games are rarely included in March Madness bracket contests) and to include more schools from smaller conferences, then would it not make more sense to determine every 16-seed with First Four play-in games?  It makes more than enough sense to me and I do not even follow college basketball because taking this approach ensures that your top or mid-major conferences are seeded appropriately while a couple more schools from smaller conferences have the opportunity to participate in a once-in-a-lifetime experience while gaining additional exposure for their institution that they would not normally receive outside of participating in an event like March Madness.  By the way, in case you were wondering, I am going to go with Kansas to win the NCAA Championship.  I am sure that this would make many of my Twitter acquaintances happy.

I must confess something:  I am a fan of professional wrestling (or sports entertainment if we are going to go with Vince McMahon's description for his product).  Truthfully, it is nothing to be ashamed of and yet, I feel some urge to hang my head lower because I casually watch WWE (and not much else) and browse the "dirt sheets" of the online wrestling community.  Anyways, it is WrestleMania season and all of the hype is building toward the grandest event in sports entertainment and to be frank; I am feeling rather "meh" about it.  In the dual main events, you have Triple H defending the WWE Championship against Roman Reigns and The Undertaker facing Shane McMahon in a "Hell in a Cell" match for control of Raw on the line.  First, Triple H should not be the WWE Champion.  Yes, he is married to the daughter of the owner of the company, Stephanie McMahon, but it is my opinion that title match should have been between Reigns and Lesner.  Of course, that is just my opinion and I know that Lesner would have been the fan favorite in the match and I am aware of the fact that is not what WWE wants.  As for the Hell in a Cell match, really?  Look, it is great seeing Shane McMahon back in the mix, but to place him into such a high-tier match immediately after he returns from a long time away from the company reeks of nepotism and cannot be good for backstage morale.  Also, does anyone seriously expect him to come out on top?  Because I cannot see WWE ruining the mystic of The Undertaker by having him lose for a second time in three WrestleManias and against a non-performer in a match that was "designed" for him.  Of course, this match is better than the previously rumored match of The Undertaker versus Braun Strowman, who looks like a bearded, steroid-fueled version of Ogre from the original Revenge of the Nerds films.  Again, in my opinion, the match would have been better served by inserting a Superstar (WWE's term not mine) like Dolph Ziggler into the match.  Basically, it would have went as follows:

• Ziggler defeats Triple H on Raw meaning Ziggler could name his match at WrestleMania
• And rather than name his match immediately, Ziggler waits till either WrestleMania or the Raw before WrestleMania to name his match
• Of course, the match would be Dolph Ziggler AND Shane McMahon versus The Undertaker in a handicap Hell in a Cell match
• Ziggler and McMahon defeat The Undertaker, which (1) gives control of Raw to Shane, (2) provides a more plausible (if not more respectable reason for The Undertaker to lose at WrestleMania for the second time), and (3) makes Ziggler responsible for the removal of "The Authority" from power again thus establishing Ziggler as even more of a "face" if not a "babyface"

Seriously, why would one not want one of the company's best performers in such a high-profile match?  It provides cover for Shane's lack of in-ring experience and places one of the best "bump takers" in the company in a match notorious for some of the most memorable "bumps" in the business.  This could be Ziggler's true WrestleMania moment and it could inject some new energy into the product and take the company into a different direction.  Anyways, I am just talking out of my derriere.

2.263: Random Topics 002-A

Here's what I do to get myself out of a funk...

(1)  I determine what is the cause of my funk and then act accordingly to remedy the funk.

For example, if I am going through a writing slump, I force myself to write.  It was a writing funk that led to the idea for this column.

(2)  I remind myself that I am capable.

Believe it or not, I suffer from poor confidence and low self-esteem.  And while this sort of action is generally met with self-deprecation and opinions to the contrary, I have to remember that I am an entirely capable and above-average intelligent individual that has absolutely no reason to believe otherwise.

(3)  I count my blessings.

As I have often heard it said:  "It could be worse."  And while there are times, I refuse to believe that fact; I simply have to consider my surroundings to see how wrong I am.  I have a roof over my head, I comfortable bed to sleep on at nights, internet access, food on hand despite my selective tastes, and so much more that others do not have.

(4)  I go for a drive.

If all else fails, I drive.  I get behind the wheel of my car and drive and vent and think and clear my mind.  Most of the time this works and sometimes I wind up some place that makes me feel much better.

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Some of my favorite [vloggers] are...

I am going to change things up a bit because I really do not read many blogs.  Sadly, I do not read very much aside from comic books and graphic novels.  So, in the interest of giving me something to actually write about here, I am going to share with you some of my favorite video bloggers (or vloggers) because I watch way more YouTube than I read personal blogs.

(1)  Casey Neistat (www.youtube.com/caseyneistat)

All die hard YouTube viewers know (or know of) Casey Neistat or you have seen at least one of his viral videos:  Aladdin carpet ride through NYC (a collaboration with Jesse from Prank vs. Prank) or snowboarding through NYC during a winter storm.  Aside from the viral videos, Casey's daily vlogs are filled the daily ins and outs of his pretty awesome life as well as tidbits of positive life advice.

(2) Vlogbrothers (www.youtube.com/vlogbrothers)

Author John Green and brother / all-around nerd of all trades Hank Green make up the Vlog Brothers as well as the inspirations behind the Nerdfighter community.  Their, now, biweekly vlogs (John posts on Tuesdays and Hank on Fridays) cover a wide-range of topics from the less than serious (e.g., John attempts to prove that water is the best accompaniment to cereal) to the more serious and informative (e.g., Hank explains net neutrality) all while keeping things as casual and easy-to-follow as possible.  Along with their vlogs, John and Hank also make it a point to "decrease world suck" by hosting the Project for Awesome as well as promoting other important causes like the Syrian refugee crisis.  In the end, the mantra for their vlogs is simple and it's one I try to always make an effort to remember:  DFTBA (don't forget to be awesome).

(3) Jimmy Conrad (www.youtube.com/thejimmyconrad)

So, Jimmy is actually pretty new to the vlog scene, but it is clear that he is trying his best and he does not have an issue with sharing his growth with his viewers.  Fortunately, he has some prior in front of the camera experience as a former presenter for KickTV.  Oh, did I forget to mention that he was a professional soccer player?  A former United States men's national team player as well as the anchor and captain of the back line of the Kansas City Wizards, Jimmy has plenty of charisma and loads of charm.  For me, as a fan of his and as a consumer of copious amounts of YouTube, it is fun to see a channel start from scratch and hopefully grow into something amazing.

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That does it for this week's "Random Topics".  Hopefully, I was informative and insightful or at the very least, engaging enough to keep you reading up until now.  DFTBA and bye!

2.262: Pitch Notes (03.14)

Recent Results:

USWNT 2:1 Germany

#SheBelieves Cup | Wednesday, 9 March 2016 | FAU Stadium

Liverpool 2:0 Manchester United

UEFA Europa League | Thursday, 10 March 2016 | Anfield

Sporting KC 2:1 Vancouver Whitecaps

Major League Soccer | Saturday, 12 March 2016 | Children's Mercy Park

Manchester United 1:1 West Ham United

The Emirates FA Cup | Sunday, 13 March 2016 | Old Trafford

Notes:
Unfortunately, I did not have the opportunity to follow neither the USWNT and Sporting Kansas City matches this week since I was away from my computer during the USWNT match and I do not have a subscription to MLS Live.  But, from what I read, it seems as though Alex Morgan scored in the WNT's match against Germany and thus earning her the Golden Boot award as the tournament's leading scorer (2) and Dom Dwyer managed to bag brace to earn three points for SKC in a match that saw another opponent go down to ten men following a red card issued.

Perhaps, worse than missing the WNT and SKC matches is the fact that I had the misfortune of actually seeing most of the two Manchester United fixtures.  The Red Devils looked abysmal against their great rivals as they fell two goals behind heading into the return leg at Old Trafford on St. Patrick's Day.  The Europa League is, in my opinion, Manchester United's best (and possibly, last) chance to gain entry into next year's Champions League and they blew it against their greatest domestic rivals in their first-ever meeting in a European tournament.

And then, on Sunday, Manchester United struggled again to create and finish scoring chances as they managed to scrape out an FA Cup replay thanks to a fortunate goal from Anthony Martial.  Of course, I should mention that Dimitri Payet's free kick goal was something spectacular to behold and West Ham would have clearly deserved their ticket to the semifinal round had they managed to hold on to win.  As for Manchester United, The FA Cup is their best chance at earning any silverware this campaign as the only remaining clubs are: Everton, Reading, and Watford.  Yet, the Red Devils continue to put out rubbish performances that only speaks to their (1) inconsistency and (2) lack of truly quality players (real world beaters).

Of course, I should have expected this sort of display from the Red Devils given their topsy-turvy form this season.  At high points, Manchester United can go on a winning streak playing the sort of fun, attacking style of football supporters have come to expect from the club.  But when the streak is snapped, it appears as though their confidence is lost and they crawl into a hole and remain there while the opposition takes advantage.

It has been frustrating, to say the least.

2.261: WTF Job Hunts?

WTF Job Hunts?!

This is not a new topic for me.  In fact, the topics of unemployment and employment searches have featured heavily on this site.  And despite the many times have I ranted about these topics, I am never satisfied.  This past week has been just another week of frustrations as I struggle to reestablish myself in the workforce.  On 29 February, I interviewed for a position so suited for me one would have honestly believed that things were turning the corner for me:  WRONG!  As you know, the interview did not satisfy my meticulous standards for success (in fact, I wrote about the interview across the duration of two posts last week):  I stumbled on words, I went off on tangents, and I may have been too blunt for the tastes of my interviewers.  But I still felt confident in the fact that my strong resume and professional experience in related fields would carry me forward into the position; I was wrong again.

All my life, I have been told that employers would hire the "most qualified" person for the position and that our nation's workforce was built on a foundation of success based on merit.  And yet, I remain unemployed (and in many cases, I do not even garner an interview) while woefully underqualified individuals sit in positions that pay nearly twice as much as I have ever been paid.  Look, I am not looking for handouts and I am not looking for pity, but if you are one to feed a line of bullshit about merit and qualifications; then I am going to call you out for being full of shit and spreading lies to impressionable youths.  I am sick and tired of the endless games, faceless screeners, and bold-faced liars I have encountered during this employment search.  I am desperate to work in a position I love, but the doors keep being closed on me before I even have an opportunity to prove my worth.

So, seriously?  WTF?  How am I and millions of others in my situation supposed to believe in the "American dream"?  Simple, we are not.  The American dream is dead and even before it saw its own demise many decades ago, the "dream" was only accessible to a handful of people that met certain "qualifications".  Instead, rather than reach for a dream that was never within our grasp, we must strive to carry on and raise a middle-finger to the corporate shills and the purveyor of false hopes and lies.  The search for work continues, but the belief is diminished.

2.260: Drop a Like 001

What is up?  Welcome to the debut edition of a new feature on J+30:  Drop a Like.  I spend a lot of time on YouTube and throughout the course of any week (or two), I come across a number of videos that I genuinely like or are buzzworthy.  Anyways, Drop a Like is where a select a handful of videos from the week past (or since the previous edition of Drop a Like since I am considering making this a bi-weekly feature) that enjoyed and share them with you with some commentary on why I felt the need to share it with you.

Alright, the explanation is finished, let's get to the videos!

Personally, the most significant video to drop this week on YouTube was Marvel's latest trailer for Captain America:  Civil War.  In this latest trailer, viewers saw more Black Panther, more Captain America battling Iron Man, Ant Man being fired from one of Hawkeye's arrow shots, and FINALLY, MOTHERF-CKING SPIDER-MAN!  Yes, the wall crawler made his first appearance under the Marvel banner and it was brief but still pretty awesome.  In case you were not aware (and you probably were not since I probably have not mentioned it previously), Spider-man is my favorite Marvel superhero (or comic superhero in general--sorry, Batman).  But, let's slow our roll here because I feel as though I have too mention that while it was totally awesome to see most everyone's favorite web-slinger; I did have some reservations with his costume;  First, the eyes:  I am slowly coming around on the eyes--they are animated in similar fashion as Deadpool's eyes in Deadpool--but seeing Spidey's eyes move was still initially offputting and that is possibly the byproduct of my familiarity with the masks of Tobey Maguire's and Andrew Garfield's versions of Spider-man.  Second, the black trim on Spidey's arms and legs are awkward to me--stick with the traditional blue and red with minimal black trim color scheme.  And third, the CGI costume looks "flat".  (I am actually borrowing the term from Nerdist because I could not put my finger on what felt off about the costume until I heard them say it first.)  Seriously, where is the texture?  The costume looks as though it is some sort of frictionless leotard that if someone were to push Spider-man onto a smooth surface, he glide endlessly until someone stopped him.  Anyways, I am incredibly excited about this film and cannot wait to see it when it comes out.

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Unfortunately, I do not watch The Daily Show as much as I would like and it is not as though I dislike Trevor Noah; it is simply a case in which I did not watch the show frequently anyways.  I typically consume my late night talk shows in clip form and on YouTube thus explaining the reasoning behind this column.  Despite the infrequency of my Daily Show viewings, I am pleased to see that Lewis Black's "Back in Black" has remained following the transition from Jon Stewart to Noah.  Personally, "Back in Black" was always one of my favorite recurring segments on the show because it featured Lewis Black in his most comfortable setting:  PISSED!  This particular segment was no different as he eviscerated FOX News and other media's coverage of the last will and testament of Osama Bin Laden and in particular, the absurd notion that Bin Laden and President Barack Obama were "friends" because of their stances against global warming.  I could say something myself about this suggestion from the brain-dead numbskulls at FOX, but I will let the master of comedic outrage take it from here; enjoy.

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One of the best things about viral videos is that a new one can be discovered everyday.  I actually had another video queued to share with you and then came the video above.  In case you were wondering, I am trying to limit the number of videos I share to three per column.  Anyways, who does not love Sesame Street?  And as a child of the 90s and a consumer of mainstream rap music, I loved Bone Thugs 'N' Harmony's "Crossroads" despite never being able recite the lyrics in step with the track--they were spitting their rhymes too quick for this plebeian.  Regardless, this video, which is brought to us by the same group that brought us other viral video mashups like The Muppets x Biz Markie, is remarkably clever and simply fun to watch.

2.259: SMASH the Stash! 001

Greetings True Believers, Excelsior!  Actually, let's try again:  Hello friends and welcome to the first edition of a new feature that I call:  SMASH the Stash!  If you did not know, I am a novice collector of comics in digital and physical editions.  Unfortunately, I rarely make time to read any of the books I come purchase or come into possession of (thank you Marvel Digital Codes and thank you to my good friend, Billy, for sharing his codes with me), which means the backlog of items I need to read from my comic stash is formidable and long (and somewhat dated).  Anyways, with "Smash the Stash!", I am giving myself an excuse or, more accurately, a reason to read the comic books (and graphic novels) in my queue.

Let's get started with a comic book from Marvel's most recent universe-altering event: Secret Wars.

Secret Wars #6

Jonathan Hickman, Writer

Esad Ribic, Artist

Alex Ross, Cover

Before I begin, allow me to say that this will not be review in the traditional sense--I am not going to be breaking down each individual panel or trying to divine hidden meanings from the actions of characters--because most of the books I will be writing about have been out for some period of time and everything has already been spoiled. Okay, now I begin:

Personally, the most interesting thing I took away from this issue was the pairing of the survivors from the Marvel 616 and 1610 universes:  Black Panther and Namor, Reed Richards and The Maker (or 1610 Reed Richards), Thanos and The Thing (who is not actually a "survivor" but a pawn in Doom's reality from another universe in which the Fantastic Four featured Johnny's and Sue's father, Franklin Storm, instead of Reed), and Captain Marvel and Mr. Sinister (who already exists within Battleworld).  It is also intriguing to see how the eventual conflict that should resolve this event is coming together.  Oh, I should mention that Black Panther found a version of a completed Infinity Gauntlet within Stephen Strange's Sanctum Sanctorum.  Overall, it was a solid read that definitely advanced the plot though the start of the issue was a bit slower than I prefer.  Also, it may be because it has been some time since I read Issue #5, but what is up with Valeria and Black Swan?

Anyways, I am calling it here because this is an introductory column and much of the content was composed of me explaining the column and its purpose.  My plan for future columns is to cover at least three issues or one volume of a series.  Until then:  DFTBA!

2.258: Quick Blurbs 001-A

Again?  Sorry for the odd numbering, but I am still working it out.  Meanwhile, it's time for some Quick Blurbs.  Five "trending" topics from Facebook because Twitter trends are not too accommodating for banter, Google search trends are similar to Twitter trends, and I still do not "get" Reddit.  Here we go, I screen capped this image at approximately 12:30 EST:

Suicide Squad:  Hell yeah, Suicide Squad!  Hell yeah, tattoos (though I would never get one myself because I’m a pansy)!  Umm…okay to character-inspired tattoo promotional posters?  To be honest, all these posters are going to lead to is a lot of regrettable decisions.

Sharon Osbourne:  Look, I am all for women being comfortable in their own skin and for wanting to share their bodies with others.  Nudity:  it’s not for everyone.  The only thing I find annoying about this topic is that everyone seems so quick to judge or are incredibly petty.

Matt Flynn:  A simple rule of thumb for professional athletes, especially, football players:  Don’t throw shade because a player got paid.  The careers of football players are incredibly short and the amount of damage one will incur is immense.  Players need to get what they can while they can.

Xbox Live:  One of the basic rules of good customer service is to ensure the customer receives the goods or services for which they have tendered payment.  If this is not possible, then offer the customer proper compensation.  Today’s all about simplicity.

Christian Bale:  My major pet peeve in regards to comics and comic-related mediums (i.e., movies) is the existence of multiple “universes” or, more accurately, the lack of a singular continuity.  I am fine with rebooting stories when things become stale, but to cast someone simply to demonstrate this point is absurd.

2.257: A Side Project

From time to time and when I am bored, I dabble in side projects to either (1) give my restless hands and mind something to do or (2) take my mind off particular issues that are causing me trouble.  The following is a little something I put together in honor of Thursday's Europa League match between rivals Manchester United and Liverpool:

I wish Blogger allowed images to be expanded to their full sizes, but it does not or at least, I have not figured out how to enable such a feature.  Regardless, I created this image using GIMP (a free, open-source software similar to Photoshop) and the Retype app on my iPhone.  The base image of Anthony Martial was taken from Manchester United's Facebook page.

Update:  I was feeling extra creative last night so I created another graphic.  This one is for the Atlanta Silverbacks NPSL home opener against the Myrtle Beach Mutiny:

This graphic uses the same color scheme is the first graphic because both clubs use the same colors though the Silverbacks lean heavier on black while Manchester United features more white.  Anyways, the majority of the graphic was created with GIMP while the text was added using the Retype app.  I once again ripped the player image from the club's official Facebook page.

2.256: Random Topics 001-A

Ignore the odd numbering format, all will return to "normal" in two weeks!

For newcomers, Random Topics is where I draft a post based on a series of topics generated by the Blog Post Ideas Generator.  In other words, I ran out of ideas for new posts.

Lessons learned during my time at...college.

(1) Socialize.  You may have been a social outcast during high school, but nobody at your college will know unless you decided to attend college in your hometown.  Regardless, socialize (or more accurately, network) because the pathway toward your dream profession begins the moment you enroll in college.  I know that this sounds harsh, but the reality facing most recent college graduates is either an entry-level position at a job that is not even in your field of study or unemployment, but you can avoid this scenario by making an effort to make connections with others on campus.

Real Talk:  Being qualified for a position means very little to potential employers, especially, if you are competing for the same position against a less-qualified candidate that also happens to be best friends with the son of the boss.

Making connections is something I learned much too late and nowadays I find myself struggling with perpetual unemployment, insurmountable debt, and undiagnosed depression.  Okay, I am exaggerating (slightly).  Regardless, making lifelong social connections will go a long way to ensuring a more prosperous career.

(2) Take Your Studies Seriously.  Yes, you may have graduated from high school near the top of your class while barely turning a page in your textbooks, but that shit will not fly in college.  From the moment you arrive on campus and enroll in classes, take your studies seriously because the first couple of semesters of college will kick your ass if you are unprepared.  The first two years of college (or the core curriculum phase of your studies) are designed to weed out the weak and ill-equipped individuals from the pack.  Also, if you screw up your first couple of semesters and manage to right the ship enough to complete your studies, then it is still a long uphill climb to redeem your GPA.

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How to solve the biggest problem you had with...negative influences.

Now, I am certain that the "experts" will say that you should confront the negative influences in your life and attempt to resolve the issue or, even more, attempt to turn the negative into a positive.  Well, that is fine and I will let the "experts" have their beliefs, but my solution is to avoid the problem altogether.  Yes, simply ignoring the problem does not mean the problem will go away, but until you are prepared to undertake the massive task of confronting an issue that so consumes you that you become an irritable, hate-filled creature that lashes out at anyone or anything regardless of their actions; it is best to remove yourself from the situation.  I know that it can be difficult (and in some cases, damn near impossible) but you have to make the effort because no one else will look out for you except you.  Of course, I speak from personal experience and I know it is an incredibly difficult, but you will be better off for it and, perhaps, you may finally find yourself in a position where you are able to confront the problem or it could be an issue that is irreconcilable regardless do it for you!

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I think that is it for this week's Random Topics.  Join me (hopefully) next week as I tackle two more random topics generated by the Blog Post Ideas Generator.  Until next time:  DFTBA!