Today, I was tired and miserable and I did not want to deal with anyone (patrons or coworkers), but I gritted my teeth and went about my business. I suppose despite my grumpy morning exterior, I still desire to be recognized and greeted and yet, this did not happen and I knew that it would not happen. Regardless, I still expected it and I was met with disappointment with a tinge of jealously at the fact that everyone else seemed to enjoy one another's company.
As I reflect back on some of my latest entries, I have reached the conclusion that I sound incredibly needy and desperate and while I am needy (e.g. - I need a better paying job, I need to clear my debts, etc.), I have little need nor desire to be desperate. And it is with this in mind that I shed the burden of my unrequited love for a coworker that clearly has no interest in me. It is clear that after nearly a year-and-a-half of this nonsense that nothing is ever going to change and I am only doing a disservice to myself and my departmental coworkers by continually allowing myself to be distracted by this foolishness. So, with that being said, I bid adieu to unnecessary and unwanted feelings of unrequited love. Good bye and good riddance.
Now, to the business at hand: I stand at a crossroad in my life in which I must make the decision to either advance my current career path or alter my path once more. At the moment, I am leaning toward the former, but there remains an inkling of wishing to return to my passion of politics. I understand at the moment that my skills are dated and connections drastically hampered by poor personal decisions, but if I have learned anything from the various scandals that politicians place themselves in; it is that redemption is always possible through a proper public relations strategy.
I suppose my political itch is being driven by a gubernatorial election year in which a Democrat has a strong opportunity to oust a scandal-embroiled Republican incumbent. Of course, this itch always hits me during this time and while I may have a lingering bitter taste in my mouth from past political business; I find the political theater to be enthralling and truly captivating. Anyway, I am only speaking out of my own ass and I have plenty of other business to tend to before I make any drastic decisions.
After this entry, I feel a lot better and I think things are going to get better--if not immediately, then at least, somewhere down the line. From here on out, I am only about myself and my family (well, the family that I like) because at the end of the day: only I am going to watch for me and only I will have my own back. Now, I'm not saying that my outlook on life has been radically altered--I'm just saying that I have one less burden on my back and it's all about me. This my sound conceited because it is, but I like it because it is simple and to the point.
