It's Halloween and it means nothing. I'm an unemployed thirty-two year old that lives with his parents (and now, a deadbeat younger half-brother that's less prone to gainful employment than Pigpen is to showering--a Peanuts reference because the new film comes out next week and I just watched It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown! the other evening) and I only hang out with people old than me. Honestly, the thought of Halloween or any of these other "not-really holidays" turns notches in my gut because they are a stark reminder that (1) I'm old, (2) I have few social friends, and (3) I'm never going to have a "healthy" social life. And you know what? I have to live with it and accept it for what it is. I've only been to two Halloween parties ever and I was always that creepy guy that stood aimlessly in the corner that everyone questioned his presence.
Again, this is my life and this is how I have chosen to live my life. I understand being socially-awkward and I have come to terms with it (sort of). If I'm being honest with myself, I generally prefer peace and solitude to hearing-damaging volume and crowded spaces because the former formally reflects your loneliness while the latter creates an illusion and an even worse condition of being alone among a crowd. I should probably seek professional psychiatric help, but I'm not going to pony up the cash I don't have for something I recognize--the only benefit is that they could perhaps provide prescribed medication for it, but I don't swallow pills easily and I don't have the resources to put towards such a venture.
Anyways, I have completed gone awry from the start of this post till now--it's time to move on.
