Sorry, but I am putting Smash the Stash on hiatus this week because we I need to talk. I promised that I would discuss some of the things that have been happening over the past week and I will. I plan on discussing the matter in brief now (I cannot go into all of the details because it would take too long to recall and then transcribe). There is a quote often attributed to the playwright George Bernard Shaw that says:
I learned long ago, never to wrestle with a pig. You get dirty, and besides, the pig likes it.
Well, I have been wrestling with a pig and yes, I feel dirty. The pig (or as I like to refer to him: "the troll") is my mother's good-for-nothing son from another man and against my better judgment; I have found myself wallowing in the mud with it on multiple occasions this past week. The first incident occurred on Sunday or my first "full" day of new employment (I will get into this later) and it involved juvenile name calling and pity threats of physical harm from it and on my end; it involved a call to 9-1-1. Eventually, I resolved any potential issues with the law enforcement officials (again, against my better judgment) in concern for my mother.
In truth, I should have charged it with simple assault (verbal threats of physical harm against another) but I relented upon consideration of my mother's well-being. Most likely, the charge would have only been a misdemeanor but if coupled with its pending charges of Possession of Schedule 2 Narcotics and Possession of Controlled Substances and considering its prior criminal offenses, this would have assured a prison sentence.
The second incident occurred just moments ago and stemmed from its contempt for other people's (i.e., my) property (i.e., clothes). Before I left this afternoon to escort my mother to visit my grandfather at the Emergency Room of Northeast Georgia Medical Center, I started a load of laundry because I needed to wash my only work uniform for tomorrow's shift. When my mother and I returned home this evening, it had removed my clothes from the washing machine and placed it on top of the dryer; replacing my load of laundry with a load of its own. So, when I questioned it about why my wet clothes were sitting on top of the dryer while its clothes were in the dryer, it responded as it always does with bitter juvenile name calling and threats of physical violence. I am not afraid of this petulant troll, but I am not about to engage in fisticuffs with the imbecile simply because it is its sole response to any questioning of itself. But, I erred in trying to argue facts with the pea-brained troll and once again, I found myself wallowing in the filth alongside the troll.
Now, you may be asking yourself: "Aren't you (meaning me) engaging in juvenile antics by referring to 'it' as a troll or imbecile and dehumanizing 'it' by referring to the individual as 'it'?" Well, I cannot deny the immaturity of my words and I wholly accept the label of hypocrite, which is far more than it would ever do. As of this moment, I am again wrestling with a pig and I am continuing to dirty myself.
I know I talk a big game about optimism and positivity and yet, I am so easily derailed by the negativity that surrounds me that it would be considered humorous if it were not so tragic. As I have said many times before, I struggle to go against my natural inclination to be negative and pessimistic but at least, I am struggling. I am struggling to better myself. I am struggling to overcome the negativity. I am struggling to overcome the pessimism. I am struggling because I know I can be more!
I talk a lot about my issues with others but I realize that my greatest issue is with me.
