1.88B: Something Positive

I suppose I could have ended 2014 in a somber manner, but even I couldn’t deny that there were some positive moments amidst the negativity expressed within my previous update.

For starters, I became close acquaintance with a couple of coworkers.  We frequently have dinner, watch movies and plan trips together.  In September of 2015, we are going to be going to Dragon Con for the entire weekend and we are actually staying at one of the host hotels—that’s crazy cool.

Speaking of movies, I had the opportunity to go see a number of really incredible and some not so incredible films this past year.  I’m not sure how to explain it, but there is just something special about watching a movie in a theater that I really enjoy.

I also, thanks to the aforementioned acquaintances from above, was able to really get into comic books (or more accurately, graphic novels).  Aside from going to Dragon Con, my acquaintances and I went to two Atlanta Comic Conventions where I had an opportunity to purchase some cool graphic novels at great prices.  Along with the conventions, we made trips to comic shops and they gave me the motivation to go ahead make a commitment to be more engaged in the comic community.

Also, in 2014, I found myself in position longer than any other position I have ever held.  Two-plus years in the library and despite the individuals I referenced in my previous update, I truly enjoy the actual job.  I can almost certainly say that I can see myself as a librarian for the foreseeable future.  As for whether or not, I plan on going back to school to earn a MLS degree—it is still up in the air.

Anyway, 2014 has had a number of ups and downs. I first give you the downs and now, the ups—all I can do now is wait to see what the upcoming year has in store for me.  It seems truly cliché and a bit overplayed, but see you next year and (I have forgotten this for some time) DFTBA.

1.188: Lessons from 2014

In a matter of a few hours, 2014 will end and 2015 will begin and with the close of every year, I thought I would take some time to discuss some of the lessons I have learned from the past year.

Lesson #1:

I don’t have to like you personally in order for me to work with you, but if you prove to be a burden on me or your other coworkers; then I will truly resent you.  For the better part of the latter part of the year, I have found myself growing increasingly frustrated by a growing number of my coworkers and while I still enjoy my job; I’m slowly growing out of like with many of my peers.  From blatant laziness to outright subversion, I’m learning that the number of coworkers I can trust are far fewer than the ones I mistrust.  Perhaps, it is my own fault that I have lowered my guard around these individuals, but at the same time; I am trying my hardest to get on with my peers.  In truth, I believe in the year ahead, I am going to have to reexamine my workplace relationships and adjust my handling of certain coworkers.  I realize that this sounds horrid, but if I am to advance my own goals; I am going to have to stay ahead of the game.

Lesson #2

Always manage one’s expectations because more often than not, managed expectations will lead to pleasant surprises when one’s expectations are met or exceeded.  The finest example of this lesson from the past year would be the Carolina Panthers.  Going into the season many experts picked the defending NFC South Division Champions to finish third in the division behind Atlanta and New Orleans and look at what happened:  the Panthers repeated as division winners with a 7-8-1 (they didn’t even have a winning record!)  The same could be said of Manchester United.  Sure, there were some hardcore supporters that always select the Red Devils to win the Premier League, but given the results of the previous campaign and the changing of the guard (yet again) at the managerial position and one could easily say that they would need at least one campaign if not two to gather their footing and return to the form that supporters are accustomed to seeing.  But, look at the Red Devils:  they sit in third place and are favorites to return to the UEFA Champions League during the next campaign.  All of these things were a pleasant surprise because I managed my expectations and kept them reasonable in my opinion.

Lesson #3

I’m going to be lonely for the remainder of my life and I will die alone.  In truth, everyone dies alone—you may die at approximately the same time, but the end result is that you pass on from this life alone and you return to stars alone or from a psychological standpoint (is it psychological?); you’re no longer conscious of whether or not you’re alone.  Anyway, that’s not the point I was getting at in this lesson.  Basically, I’m going to be a single male for the rest of my life.  I’m 31 years old and to date I have been in no meaningful relationships and the only physical relationship I’ve been a party to was just physical.  For anyone that has read a decent number of my updates, you would know that for some time now I had been smitten with a coworker, Emily, and despite my many vague and veiled attempts to gauge her thoughts on me; I have come to the conclusion that my adoration for her is unrequited.  In truth, at one point, she was becoming such a distraction that in for me to move on; I needed to loathe her and that may still be the way to go about it.  I can’t deny that I still hold on to my unrequited feelings, but I slowly accepting that I need to let it go by any means necessary.  Now, this isn’t to say that Emily was the only person for me—I’m most certain she isn’t—but I’m just not interested in playing this game though I was never really an active participant.  I’ve been hurt on a number of occasions and truthfully, I hate feeling shitty about myself unless I’m the one inflicted the anguish.

Anyway, those are the lessons I have learned from the past year.  If they sound depressing, it is because they are depressing.  I’m not always a miserable individual, but it does seem as though a significant segment of my life is mired in some sort of negativity.  But, on a more positive note, I do persevere and continue to exist.  Perhaps, things will change in the New Year, but given my track record; I wouldn’t count on it.

1.187: Shite Movie Review #9

The Imitation Game

For months, I had been anticipating the wide theatrical release of The Imitation Game in America and this past weekend I finally had my opportunity to see the film; here are my thoughts:

To be frank, a biographical film about an English mathematician would not sound like riveting cinema, but when the mathematician being present is (1) commonly regarded as the father of computers and (2) largely responsible for decoding the German Enigma machine, at the time, an encryption device thought impossible to crack, thus aiding Allied forces conclude the Second World War an estimated two-years early (and in the process, possibly saving 14 million lives); it sort of piques one’s interest—at least, it piqued my interest.  Also, the fact that the mathematician, Alan Turing, would be portrayed by Benedict Cumberbatch and in my opinion, you have the potential for a fantastic movie.

Speaking of Mr. Cumberbatch, his portrayal of Alan Turing was superb, but it could be said that Mr. Cumberbatch is experienced in portraying socially-awkward geniuses.  His performance was such that I was able to not only endure particularly “embarrassing” scenes, but I was able to enjoy them and I found myself relating to Turing’s social ineptitude.  Perhaps, I am speaking of Mr. Cumberbatch with a biased perspective, but I am only biased because he continues to provide remarkable performances.

Now, the intriguing plot and the superb performance of the lead should be more enough for me to say:  “Yes, this film is entirely worth the price of admission,” but the film’s underlying message of sexual equality—Turing was gay and despite his efforts during the war (much of which remained classified long after his passing), he was charged and found guilty of indecency and his punishment was chemical castration, which ultimately led to him taking his own life at the age of 41—was yet another positive in the movie’s direction.  Truthfully, this same message may serve to deter certain right-wing religious zealots from seeing this movie and that is a shame because Turing’s story is one that should be known.

Anyway, as I alluded to previously, this film is certainly worth the price of admission and if you have an opportunity to see this fantastic depiction of the life of a man that has so immensely affected our world, then please go and see it.

1.186: Shite Movie Review #8

Top Five

Of all of the movies I have seen during this recent spell of movie outings, Top Five was above and beyond my favorite viewing experience.  Admittedly, the plot was rather predictable, but Top Five was more about the journey rather than the destination and the journey was both humorous and touching.  But, it must be said that one should have some grasp on hip-hop culture in order to truly understand the touching moments and to enjoy many of the humorous moments.  In other words, Top Five may not appeal to certain segments of our society that view the hip-hop culture in a negative matter or black culture in general, which is disheartening because I found Top Five to be so enjoyable.

Anyways, there are number of fantastic cameos from a number of established and upcoming stand-up comedians and to be frank; this was probably the funniest Adam Sandler has been in some time.  Honestly, I shouldn’t have to say it, but yes, Top Five was worth the price of admission and if you are looking for a good laugh during the holiday season and don’t mind some raunchiness (because there are a couple sequences that involve nudity), then I would highly recommend Top Five.

1.185: Shite Movie Review #7

The Hobbit:  The Battle of the Five Armies

At long last, the saga of Middle-Earth draws to a close (or at least until Peter Jackson ascertains the film rights to The Silmarillion), but was the final third of The Hobbit trilogy worth the price of admission?  To be frank:  No.  Now, I will say that if you have already invested the time and money in seeing the first two Hobbit movies, then yes, go and finish the trilogy because that sort of investment should not be wasted.  If you have not seen the first two movies, then I would recommend waiting until its DVD / Blu-Ray release and when you have a day; marathon the films (if you feel inclined to watch the series).

In truth, I could have done without The Hobbit trilogy because (1) it should not have been a trilogy and (2) there was no need for a prequel.  Certainly, there was plenty of splendid scenery to behold and a few fun battle sequences, but it was not enough to warrant splitting the shortest book of the Middle-Earth saga into three parts.  Personally, I enjoyed the Lord of the Rings series and was excited when it was reported that Jackson would be returning to Middle-Earth for The Hobbit, but now; I wish Jackson would have simply left it at The Return of the King.

1.184: Shite Movie Review #6

Birdman or (The Unexpected Virtue of Ignorance)

The hype was real—seven Golden Globe nominations (including Best Picture, Musical or Comedy), four Screen Actors Guild Awards nomination (including Best Ensemble), etc.—and the hype was met.  From the matter in which the movie was filmed to the incredible drum score, Birdman was definitely deserving of the accolades and plaudits it has received and I would highly recommend seeing the movie unless artistic, critically-acclaimed movies are not your cup of tea.

A lot can be said or has already been said about the parallel between Michael Keaton’s actual career and the career of the character he portrays in Birdman, but attempting to make such a comparison goes far and beyond the realm of a shite movie reviewer like me.  What I will say is that I enjoyed the performances of Keaton, Edward Norton, Emma Stone and Zach Galifianakis and I was intrigued by the ambiguity of whether or not Keaton’s character actually possessed “powers” or if these moments were merely a manifestation of his deteriorating mental state.

Personally, I would like to believe in the former, but it is most likely the latter—either way works.  As for whether the film was worth the price of admission—$8 for a matinee screening—the answer is a definite affirmative. In fact, I would have willingly paid full adult admission for an evening screening of Birdman.

1.183: Shite Movie Review #5

The Hunger Games:  Mockingjay - Part I

In truth, I had much more to say this review of Mockingjay – Part I, but the more I thought about it; the more I came to realize that I simply did not like it.  Sure, there were some high points that provide a glimmer of hope for the second part, but my preconceived notions developed from reading The Hunger Games trilogy were too much to be ignored.  If you saw the first two films, then I will say this of Mockingjay – Part I:  it was better than its predecessors, but it still does not mean you should invest the money to see it in a theater, especially, when there are far better options.  Wait for this to be released on DVD or, better yet, Netflix and then hope that part two carries on the positive wave of part one.  Was Mockingjay – Part I worth the price of admission?  No.

1.171

To be frank, I'm not pleased with the direction this site has taken.  Some of the issues I have with this site are:

It lacks a formal format.  (Example:  When I post from my smartphone, none of the posts are justified.)

It's no longer aesthetically pleasing.

It is inconsistent in describing itself. (Example:  Is it a site or a blog? Is it a post or an update? And so forth)

I'm not posting consistently.

The titles for posts (or updates) are not uniformed. (Example: Long format or short format? Subtitle or no subtitle?)

Honestly, it feels as though I'm straying from a path while at the same time; not even knowing what that path is.

I want to make this a pleasant experience for not just visitors, but primarily for myself, so that I will be encouraged to continue forward.

All I ever do nowadays is whine and complain and while it is a fair reflection of my actual demeanor; I still don't like it.

Anyway, I need to work on finding a way to salvage this while at the same time maintaining simple routine of publishing (or posting) updates (or posts).

1.161: The ranting continues

I'm not sure why but I'm in a particularly vocal (or as vocal as drafting an update permits) mood this evening and I have a few more things I would like to get off my chest before I call it a night.

1) People can call me a control freak, a dictator, or just plain stubborn and they would be correct.  I hate being out of control and I despise being held hostage to the whims of others, but there is an explanation for my controlling nature:  I want shit done and I want it done right.

Here's the issue: one of my coworkers is an indolent imbecile that is nothing but a hindrance to others around her.  The shear levels of laziness exhibited by this individual is on another level and yet, she fails to realize this fact herself.

Seriously, on a recent employee evaluation, she was dumped upon with multiple examples of her obvious and blatant laziness and her most vocal complaint dealt with issues of personal phone calls while on the clock. Really?

This woman doesn't even deny her ineffectiveness and lack of productivity!

All I expect from my coworkers is that they do their jobs and fulfill the expectations and responsibilities of their position.  If you can do that simple task, then I am good with you.

-----

Actually, that is all for now. I may come back with a few more complaints later.

1.160: The struggle is real

I'm going to try this again, but this time I'm going straight in and I'm not pulling punches.  First off, fuck the grand jury that permitted yet another police officer off the hook for killing another black man.  And second, fuck my white coworkers for being oblivious to their white privilege.  Look, I'll admit it: I'm Asian and as far as minorities in America goes, we're doing okay. But, that doesn't mean I'm getting a free pass on the race train.  I've been fortunate that the amount of ignorant, racist shit I've encountered in my life is minimal in comparison to my counterparts of black or Latino heritage, but it happens and for the most part; I brush off.

Now, some (myself included) will say that I'm whitewashed and that I'm a fake Asian, but fuck you! I may have primarily white friends and enjoy white activities, but that is more a product of the environment than the fact that I'm any less of a minority; I'm whitewashed not white.  Honestly, attempting to explain white privilege to individuals that received the majority of their news from FOX or sites like Drudge is similar to ramming one's head into a brick wall--the wall will remain standing, but you'll be left bloodied and mangled.  Earlier this evening, I sat as I listened to three of my white coworkers defend the excessive actions of these overzealous police officers.  In the Ferguson case, Michael Brown was a thug that was behaving like punk and that meant he deserved to be shot to death multiple times while the shooter didn't even deserve to stand trial.  In the case of Eric Garner, the police was right to utilize a banned maneuver in subduing a large black male for illegally selling cigarettes on a street corner.  In Cleveland, where a twelve year old black child was killed by a white police officer, the officer had to defend himself from a twelve year old with a realistic looking Airsoft gun.  And in the grand scheme of things, the reason for all of this is, according to my lazy ass, imbecile departmental coworker, rap music and the fact that it perpetuates violence (-.-*). OMFG!

Honestly, I want to say I like my coworkers, but moments like this really aggravate for a couple of reasons: (1) because they're oblivious idiots and (2) I'm the fucking tool that let's shit like this be spoken because I'm to slow-witted to appropriately retort at the moment.  So there, some this anger is about me, but a lot more of it is about how ignorant and simple-minded certain white people are in regards to race relations.  As the viral hashtag goes: #BlackLivesMatter despite what grand juries, the media and my coworkers want to believe.

My god I hope this makes some sense because this off the cuff writing style is the sort of shit I try so hard to avoid because of my undiagnosed OCD.

1.159

I'm good for nothing!  I can't even rant effectively.  I've just spent the past two hours drafting a rant about my coworkers and the ineptitude of the library system's administrators and it's come to nothing because I can't get my shit together and now I've run out steam.

I sincerely believe I'm getting dumber or I may have never been as smart as I think I am.

1.158

I hate drafting posts.

Actually, I’m indifferent about the actual drafting process—it is my obsessive compulsiveness that tends to cause many of the issues I have with drafting and publishing updates.  For reasons beyond my understanding, I often find myself in positions in which I will scrap an entire update simply because the text appears unsymmetrical.  Personally, it is not about the words and what is being said; it is about how it appears.

I wish I could get over this issue, but it is difficult.