July 2021 was a difficult month for me. At work, I spent my days aimlessly preparing for an audit that has now carried into August. Still, in addition to audit preparations, I was preparing for the pending changes to our organization. These changes had been expected; we were aware of these departures when we hired each of these individuals. But, what I was not prepared to handle was how much their resignations, specifically, two of the three resignees, would affect me personally. Also, I was surprised to find out which of the departures most hurt me. In all honestly, I genuinely thought that the exit of my "workplace bestie" would have the most effect on me because I had worked with her the longest, and we had developed a reasonably open and honest relationship with one another. I felt that we could confide in one another what we could never share with others; we even shared tears over our own anxieties. And yet, when it came to her last day with our organization and with me, it did not affect me in the way I imagined it would have affected me. I believe the cause was that she was already gone. At the beginning of July, she moved to another state, and it felt like our connection had already begun to thin out. I hope that I am wrong, and I have made an effort to try and maintain our relationship, but we will just have to wait and see.
Surprisingly, it was the departure of my assistant that affected me the hardest. In fact, her exit sent me into a crisis of confidence and brought me to tears. Even as I write this section about her, my eyes are beginning to tear up. In a way, this is hilarious because I did not want an assistant. I was stubborn, and I worried that this was an attempt to find a cheaper yet competent replacement for me. And yet, even though I only worked with her for about eight months, I realized that I loved having her around and that my life is now slightly more empty without her; she was my professional "crutch" and my emotional support. I have always been stubborn and resistant to asking for help, but she made it easy for me to seek assistance when I needed it. In a way, she prevented me from developing professional burnout as well as saved me from myself. She was sweet, laughed at all my silly jokes, and made me feel like I was actually capable of doing my job. I almost want to say that I sincerely love her, and I wish her the best in everything in her life. Anyway, I do think about her frequently--I almost planned a trip to the area where she moved in hopes that I might see her again, but I decided against it because I did not want to come off as weird.
Despite all of these losses to our organization and me, personally, I will admit that, in some strange fashion, their exits did motivate me to do things that I would not typically have done. And I did these things because I needed to find activities or distractions to take my mind off the pain I was experiencing. But before I get to that part, I wanted to reflect on some happier experiences before their emotional exits.
One thing I had been trying to work out was taking my assistant and her husband to their first professional soccer match, but as the date of her last day drew closer, the chances of this happening became slimmer with each passing day and game. Fortunately (or unfortunately, depending on your perspective), my assistant and her husband had difficulty finding accommodations in their new home for the next three or four years, which delayed their move by a week. It just happened that there was a match during the weekend they had planned on moving, so I acted swiftly as possible to secure tickets for them. And despite their late arrival, I shared their first matchday experience at a professional soccer match. From what I was told, they enjoyed the matchday experience, and I was able to find inspiration for one part of my assistant's farewell gift.
On my assistant's last day with our organization, I was able to take her along with another departing staffer out for lunch. It was a pleasant experience to provide them with a farewell meal alongside other members of our staff. I wish we had taken some photographs, but I suppose no one was feeling photogenic regardless sometimes; it is best to just enjoy the moment. To be honest, the rest of that day felt like a haze, but it was special to me (and hopefully, the others).
It was strange that there loomed another significant moment for one of our other staffers amidst all of farewells and sadness: a nikkah. I will say that I still do not know what a nikkah is, but it appeared to be a religious ceremony like a traditional wedding but not entirely because, as far as I know, the bride, our staffer, and her fiance are not married in a legal sense. Regardless of my understanding (or lack of), one of our employees was about to participate in a special life event, and she had invited me to attend (albeit rather crudely via a text message). I honestly did not think much about it because I viewed the invitation more as a courtesy than a sincere wish that I would attend, but I ended up attending the nikkah. And I am glad I did because (1) it offered me an opportunity to experience something different, (2) it provided me a chance to learn more about a couple of our staffers (current, recently departed, and long since exited), and (3) it allowed me to see an old colleague of ours (i.e., the long since existed). The ceremony was beautiful and elaborate, and the fellowship I shared with my work colleagues was a nice reminder of what I still had at the organization. I may not be as close to my remaining colleagues (yet) as I was to my "work bestie" and my assistant; I still have people I want to grow closer to and protect.
Finally, I closed out July with a couple of solid highs. The first came on Tuesday when I attended The Hella Mega Tour featuring Green Day, Fall Out Boy, and Weezer. And it was amazing! It was the first genuine concert I attended in well over a half-decade, and it was probably the first "super" concert hosted in Georgia since the start of the pandemic. I snapped a ridiculous amount of photographs and videos throughout the show, and I may one day decide to upload and share them but today is not that day. The second high I alluded to happened last night when my long-time friend and I booked a holiday for later this month to Las Vegas. This trip will be my first one to Las Vegas and my second overnight and out-of-state excursion this year, which is remarkable considering my past.
Anyway, I believe that is all I have for July 2021--here is to August 2021!
